I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
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I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
JUstin sobbed as he came to the realization that Heath wasn't coming back. He was so sure he was going to come back, but now he was sure he wasn't. He closed his eyes tight to try to fight off the flood of the internal pain and insecurities that threatened to overflow within his eyes. He had tried many times in the past to do the same, but had always failed, and before given the chance to stop, he gave up willingly, not having the strength to fight his demons anymore.
His anguish and unhappiness ran down his face, leaving a burning trail to remind him of the coward he believed himself to be; the coward everyone said him to be.
‘I am not a coward. I’ll prove to everyone I’m not a coward!’ His thoughts still unspoken, he pushed off of the bed and stumbled weakly into the bathroom.
They want to control me? Well, I’d like to see them try to control me now,he stated smugly in is mind as he opened his shaving case, smiling evilly as the contents.
His demonic smile had faded and was now replaced with a look of pure concentration as he lifted a single blade razor that looked like it had come from the old times. His eyes rose to meet his reflection in the mirror and the hollow depths of his eyes assured him of his task. He raised the blade so the cold metal lightly grazed his wrist, sending chills down his spine. It took all the strength left in his exhausted body to press the blade down into his skin. He winced and shut his eyes tight as he slowly dragged the sharp metal across his wrist, slicing the layers of skin and cutting deeply into his veins. He opened his tear filled eyes, amazed at what an adrenaline rush the pain had been. He watched carefully as the blood that once occupied his body left in a stream and flowed down his arm and into the sink below. When the blast of adrenaline faded, he craved the feeling again like a drug. He pressed the blade into the opposite wrist, creating just as much, if not more, damage and draining more blood than from his other wrist. He sliced up the middle of the same arm and opened the deep gash with the edge of the razor. Blooded poured from the open wound and he staggered slightly, feeling weak and frail.
With his last bit of physical strength, he placed the pen and paper he had brought with him into the bathroom on top of the sink. The notebook was stained red and dripped with the thick crimson.
His arms dropped at his side as his mind reeled of what was happening.
His anguish and unhappiness ran down his face, leaving a burning trail to remind him of the coward he believed himself to be; the coward everyone said him to be.
‘I am not a coward. I’ll prove to everyone I’m not a coward!’ His thoughts still unspoken, he pushed off of the bed and stumbled weakly into the bathroom.
They want to control me? Well, I’d like to see them try to control me now,he stated smugly in is mind as he opened his shaving case, smiling evilly as the contents.
His demonic smile had faded and was now replaced with a look of pure concentration as he lifted a single blade razor that looked like it had come from the old times. His eyes rose to meet his reflection in the mirror and the hollow depths of his eyes assured him of his task. He raised the blade so the cold metal lightly grazed his wrist, sending chills down his spine. It took all the strength left in his exhausted body to press the blade down into his skin. He winced and shut his eyes tight as he slowly dragged the sharp metal across his wrist, slicing the layers of skin and cutting deeply into his veins. He opened his tear filled eyes, amazed at what an adrenaline rush the pain had been. He watched carefully as the blood that once occupied his body left in a stream and flowed down his arm and into the sink below. When the blast of adrenaline faded, he craved the feeling again like a drug. He pressed the blade into the opposite wrist, creating just as much, if not more, damage and draining more blood than from his other wrist. He sliced up the middle of the same arm and opened the deep gash with the edge of the razor. Blooded poured from the open wound and he staggered slightly, feeling weak and frail.
With his last bit of physical strength, he placed the pen and paper he had brought with him into the bathroom on top of the sink. The notebook was stained red and dripped with the thick crimson.
His arms dropped at his side as his mind reeled of what was happening.
Justin Gabriel- Posts : 92
Join date : 2010-09-29
Age : 32
Location : North Carolina
Re: I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
Heath bit his lip nervously as he opened the door, he was hopeing that Justin would take him back again. He still wasn't sure why they had fought but he knew he couldn't live without Justin. "Justin baby." he called softly as he walked in. He looked around and didn't see Justin but before he turned to leave he heard a noise from the bathroom. He opened the door and hurried over to Justin's side dailing 911 when he saw all the blood "Justin can you here me?"
Heath Slater- Posts : 35
Join date : 2010-10-04
Re: I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
Justin gave no response. His skin draining of color as he body slowly drained of life.
Justin Gabriel- Posts : 92
Join date : 2010-09-29
Age : 32
Location : North Carolina
Re: I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
Heath put pressure to try and stop the bleeding as he waited for the ambulance to arrived "Justin please." he begged softly.
Heath Slater- Posts : 35
Join date : 2010-10-04
Re: I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
This time Justin gave a small sign that there was still life in his body, groaning softly.
Justin Gabriel- Posts : 92
Join date : 2010-09-29
Age : 32
Location : North Carolina
Re: I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
"Justin baby please." Heath begged softly "Please come on stay with me."
Last edited by Heath Slater on Mon Jan 17, 2011 4:41 am; edited 1 time in total
Heath Slater- Posts : 35
Join date : 2010-10-04
Re: I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
The sound of the ambulance sirens could be heard in a distance as Justin groaned again, his breathing weak and shallow
Justin Gabriel- Posts : 92
Join date : 2010-09-29
Age : 32
Location : North Carolina
Re: I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
"Justin please i'm sorry just stay with me baby." Heath begged as the paramedics arrived and started working on Justin.
Heath Slater- Posts : 35
Join date : 2010-10-04
Re: I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
Justin was far from out of the woods when the paramedics told Heath he was stable enough for Transport, but the important thing was, he was alive.
Justin Gabriel- Posts : 92
Join date : 2010-09-29
Age : 32
Location : North Carolina
Re: I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
Heath nodded and followed them as they took Justin to the ambulance.
Heath Slater- Posts : 35
Join date : 2010-10-04
Re: I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
JUstin's vitals were far from normal on the ride to the hospital, but they were stable. The small South African man began to stir.....
Justin Gabriel- Posts : 92
Join date : 2010-09-29
Age : 32
Location : North Carolina
Re: I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
"Justin" Heath said softly when he saw Justin stir.
Heath Slater- Posts : 35
Join date : 2010-10-04
Re: I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
Justin moaned weakly and attempted to open his eyes, but his body would not allow it.
Justin Gabriel- Posts : 92
Join date : 2010-09-29
Age : 32
Location : North Carolina
Re: I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
"Justin please stay with me." Heath begged softly as he gently stroked Justin's hair.
Heath Slater- Posts : 35
Join date : 2010-10-04
Re: I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
Justin's lips moved to form words, as if he were trying to say something, but no sound passed through them.
Justin Gabriel- Posts : 92
Join date : 2010-09-29
Age : 32
Location : North Carolina
Re: I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
Heath bit his lip as they arrived at the hospital and Justin was taken to the back.
Heath Slater- Posts : 35
Join date : 2010-10-04
Re: I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
They put clean wraps around Justin's wrists to replace the ones the paramedics had put on him in the ambulance and hooked him to an IV to replace the blood he had lost.
Justin Gabriel- Posts : 92
Join date : 2010-09-29
Age : 32
Location : North Carolina
Re: I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
Heath paced the waiting room as he wait for them to say he could see Justin.
Heath Slater- Posts : 35
Join date : 2010-10-04
Re: I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
One of the nurses noticed Health waiting. "He's stable now," she said gently.
Justin Gabriel- Posts : 92
Join date : 2010-09-29
Age : 32
Location : North Carolina
Re: I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
Heath nodded and thanked her before hurrying to Justin's room "Baby." he said as he huuried to Justin's side.
Heath Slater- Posts : 35
Join date : 2010-10-04
Re: I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
Justin groaned and weakly turned to look at Heath. "You came back......." the raven haired man said weakly.
Justin Gabriel- Posts : 92
Join date : 2010-09-29
Age : 32
Location : North Carolina
Re: I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
"Yeah baby i came back." Heath said softly as he started stroking Justin hair gently.
Heath Slater- Posts : 35
Join date : 2010-10-04
Re: I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
Justin cracked a small smile and reached up to stroke Heath's cheek.
Justin Gabriel- Posts : 92
Join date : 2010-09-29
Age : 32
Location : North Carolina
Re: I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
Heath gave Justin a small smile before he asked "Justin why?"
Heath Slater- Posts : 35
Join date : 2010-10-04
Re: I Am Hoping I Can Find, Where To Leave My Hurt Behind
"Didn't think you were ever coming back," Justin said softly. "and I couldn't take living without you."
Justin Gabriel- Posts : 92
Join date : 2010-09-29
Age : 32
Location : North Carolina
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