His Eyes Say Yes

"Blaine... oh hell." Barry hated the way he was panicking over the small boy. He took him home and looked him over, dressing him in some warm clothes and wrapping him up in a blanket.

Blaine was barely even there, off in another world he seemed like. His eyes glazed, his body shaking....
It was truly sad...

"Blaine... Blaine damnit... please say something..." Barry worried.

"Love you...." The boy whispered, not looking at Barry, his gaze on a large Teddy bear in the corner.
For the first time in his life...
He didnt want it.

"I love you to Blaine! I love you too!" It'd hit him that he really did... "You want the bear?"

Blaine said nothing, shaking his head.
"No....You can have it..."
He didnt want the damn bear....

Barry sighed.
"Blaine.... if you make me cry I swear..." he shook his head.

Blaine stared at the bear, shaking his head.
"Its funny....Teddy Bears used to be the only thing in the world...That and my daddy you know? They were my bestfriends...always made me happy and daddy too...I always wanted one...if I saw one I wanted it...I was a spoiled brat....I had so many of the Teddy bears we had to get a shed to keep them in...And now...You know I dont think I deserved a single bear my daddy got me....Weather as a present or just because I wanted it. I am...I am worthless....I dont know why he bothered to buy them for me...I mean sure I love them...My Teddy bears....They kept be company when my momma and daddy were fighting or when I was upset...I guess daddy bought them maybe so I would have someone...Maybe He didnt love me like I thought...I try so hard to be a good boy for him and you....and im not.....Daddy never hit me...I got whippings but nothing like you did....either way I knew I was a bad boy...but you both continued to deal with me and now...Im tired of staying around and being a bad boy......a little bother ypou cant seem to get rid of...Because I am so loud...and I smile so much...and im so hyper...You will both be happier if I just...let you do whatever...If I dont whine constantly about my bears and if I dont cry about something hurting...If I dont yell or have an opinion....If I dont always wanna cuddle you at night because im cold or lonely....I am sorry for it....Im done....You can have my bears...."
His precious bears.....
he was giving away.
His precious smile...
Simply gone.

And that just about pushed Barry over the edge, his eyes watering.
"No Blaine... No... you are not a bad boy, you're not worthless... I... look I've never done this before. I don't know how I'm supposed to talk about how Im feeling but I do care about you... I... I think my biggest regret may be taking you from your daddy because.. you were so fucking innocent... I never feel bad when i hurt someone but i do with you. I feel like I broke down the sweetest boy in the world and I hate it... I'm pretty sure I loev you a little and.... I'm sorry. I dont fucking know." He drug a hand down his face.

"Dont worry Barry...Im not worth being sorry over." He just stared at his bear....
"I dont know what innocent is....I know I shouldn't have ever even started thinking maybe you cared...I shouldnt have ever had hope for it....I was so stupid...And because of that I smile...and I was loud....I didnt mean to be loud...I-I promise I didnt...." He hated that he made Barry's head hurt. "Im sorry I ever said anything about us being a funny couple..."
Barry had killed that quick....
"Im sorry I thought you would care if I left."
he had out that thought to rest as soon as it came.
"Im sorry I wanted to go to the park....Im sorru bit the mans dick off...Im sorry I was crying about my daddy....Im sorry I screamed when you were hurting me....Im sorry you had to buy the stupid fucking fuzzy teddy bear..." His favorite Teddy bear..."Im sorry I-I wanted you to make love to me...Im so fucking sorry I was ever born....I wish I would have been gone when momma dropped me like he did....Im sorry I lived....Im sorry I am a spoiled brat....Im sorry...Im sorry I made you feel bad.....Im sorry...I was always as you say sweet.....im sorry about making you regret me..." Most people now that he thought of it probably did regret him..." im sorry I smiled so much......"
He wouldnt do it anymore.
"Im sorry I ran from you....Im sorry I got pregnant....Im sorry I cant be a good momma....Im sorry.....So sorry...."
He was just staring at the bear, the one he was giving to Barry.
He didnt want it....

"Blaine please... stop... I LOVE YOU." Barry tried to get the boy to believe it. "Don't be sorry for those things... I..." Goddamnit he didn't know how to say this..

"It really is a pretty bear....You know? See how brown he is....how brown and soft he is...." He reached for the Bear,, sighing softly. "He is a good bear....You can have my other ones too....Tell Daddy I said so..."

"Blaine I dont want the bears... you deserve them all...just please stop..." He frowned, holding the boy to his chest.

"You know the only bear I wanted and didnt get was a big white one....It was a valentines day bear....I was with momma and he didnt have the cash..." Blaine whispered, shivering in his masters arms.

"I'll buy you it if you want it..." He sighed, hugging him tight.

"Dony deserve it...I dont want anymore bears...."
He really didnt deserve them...
"One time I ripped Mister Brody bear...Daddy took a week learning how to sew so he could fix it...He tore it up arguing with momma..."

Barry took Blaine's face in his hands, kissing him deeply. More lovingly than he'd ever kissed anyone, just trying to show Blaine he cared...

Blaine blinked at him...
"One time this guy I loved made a bet with me....I won and he bought me a big Teddy bear...My favorite..."

"That guy loves you too... and.. hes promised you something else for that bet. and as soon as you're up to it he wants to do that for you..."

Blaine leaned against Barry, a small frown on his face.
"Why would he do that? If he loves me he would not want me to leave...If he loves me he wouldnt mind their being an us....."

"He doesn't want you to leave... he really doesn't. And he is just... a little..." He didn't wanna say scared... "scared of what people will say about him.."

"He left me outside to freeze and dehydrate...To stave and get things thrown at me because im weird..." Blaine mumbled, all color still gone form his face.

"He thought you had left him and gone home to your daddy..." Barry sighed.

"I couldnt...."
He didnt want his daddy,...
He wanted Barry..

"Why couldn't you Blaine...?" He asked softly.