Somewhere With You

"I.....Im dealing with him. Ill be fine, im sure he will grow on me." Kevin smiled at him. "Because I love his daddy, so,so,so much."

Rick chuckled and grinned.
"And his daddy loves you. So so so so much." Rick kissed him softly.

He smiled.
"I just hope im A good momma to him...."
Momma's werent supposed to feel pain in their heart when they looked at their babies.

"I'm sure you will be sweety. You're a wonderful momma already. To him and Rick Jr." Rick smiled and kissed him.
Meanwhile Zac grumbled in his sleep and buried his head in his mother's chest.

Kevin kissed back, his hold tightening on the small boy.
"He is a good kid...."
But he was Sydney's...

"I can tell he is. He's got a heart in there." He smiled patting his son's head.
"Just tell me if it ever hurts you too bad. I can take him off your hands for a bit if you need it."

"In truth....its killing me but I can't back out now. Im stuck with him and Im just going to have to push down whatever pain I feel. I mean he is a good child, I like him and I could even love him but he hurts me..."

Zac had just woken. He was about to stand and go to the bathroom when he heard that. His heart fell.
And that right there was why he distanced himself from everyone... Stuck with him? Well he'd fucking be gone soon...

Kevin hadn't noticed him.
"Rick...I want to love him, He is going to me my baby but he isn't. He is Sydney and it eats me up inside. She does not deserve him. She gave him away, I wouldn't have let him go. I hate it....And im...what if he knows it too? What if Im never really momma? Sydney....She....." Kevin put his head on his hands.
"He should have been mine Rick! Not hers and it fucking hurts and I am telling you this but I wont let you take him away. Im going to fucking make him mine."

Zac sat up with a sigh and hugged Kevin.
"No, you don't have to make me yours. I don't want whats her face to be my mom so I won't call her that if I meet her. You are mom, I don't give a damn who's stomach I was in. You're my mother. I like you kind of already and I don't want you to be 'stuck with me' so I'll leave." He sighed

Kevin jumped but hugged Zac tightly.
"Your not going anywhere Zac. Your my baby, I make a point not to abandon my babies."

"Mom, I don't want to be somewhere where I'm not wanted." Zac frowned. "I've lived by myself my whole life, I can go back to that."

Kevin took his head in both hands.
"Zachary Even McGuire. You are wanted. You are my baby and I love you already."

Zac sighed.
"You said you were stuck with me now. I was listening..."

"Oh baby...I didn't mean it like that. I am stuck with you and I wouldn't want it any other way, hell im stuck with Rick im stuck with Rick Jr and im stuck in a chair. Im just stuck but Im your momma, unlike Sydney I refuse to let you go." Kevin kissed his cheek.

Zac sighed and rested his head lightly on Kevin's chest.
"You're a good mom."

"Im trying to be baby, I really am." He leaned himself against the wall so he could cradle Zac to his chest.
"Your my baby. Fuck Sydney. Im tired of always being second best to Sydney. She can fuck off, your mine and your one thing that is MINE."
He always had to wonder when Rick said I love you. Did he love Kevin more then Sydney? Or what about Alex? His father loved Sydney more. She was his baby and she had Rick's first time and his first child.
Kevin was tired of Sydney.

Zac smiled softly and kissed his mother's cheek.
Rcik frowned.
"Baby, how are you second best to Syd?"

Kevin cuddled his baby close as he looked at Rick.
"Rick....She was your first time making love, your first love period. She was pregnant with your first child. You got with me because you knocked me up and you probably just felt bad and didnt wanna lose another child. Im second to her and im LAST with daddy, she is first."

"Baby no, I wouldn't have left her for you if I didn't love you more. And Alex loves you as much as her now he's told me." Rick leaned over to rub Zac's back and kiss Kevin.

"Rick. Yes you would because I was pregnant with YOUR baby. And your full of shit, daddy is outta his mind,m he adores Sydney."

"Kev, since when do you think this? You've never mentioned this before?" Rick frowned. "I lvoe you so much. I wouldn't have killed myself for you if I loved Sydney more."

"Rick, every time you say you love me, I think this. Every time you make love to me, I think this. With every kiss, work, touch, it fucking burns me."

"Oh baby..." Rick frowned. Zack moved out of the way so Rick could hug Kevin.

Kevin sighed, his hand holding into Zac's and he let Rick hug him.
"I dont know what to do to assure myself that you will always be mine..."