Somewhere With You

"You Kevin. It will reopen all the tears baby...." He sighed softly.

"Fine Rick, Fine just drop it." He walked down to the beach.

"Kevin I can't drop it when you are upset. You know I can't."

"Because your so good to me.....Why do you have to make so much of one little mistake. Your always so good.." Kevin stopped and looked Rick in the eyes. "Your perfect in my eyes....You take good care of me and you love me every day...You made one little oppise into a giant screw up."

"Because it isn't little to me Kevin...." Rick shook his head. "You'll never know how absolutely awful I feel..."

"Oh baby you didn't mean to...."
To Kevin was a big deal but Rick shouldn't feel so bad...

"But I did and that is that. There is no going back in time and changing it..."

"No, there is not but it.....Rick sweetheart I hate that you feel so bad about this. Me and you. We will be fine sweetness."

"Would you rather me laugh and tell you to suck it up?" Rick frowned softly. "Baby I wouldn't be a good lover if I didn't feel bad."

"I would rather you do that then feel shitty though....I can take someone being cruel to me as long as you will be fine...Besides im used to it. What do you think Quincy did when he hurt me and I started crying and begging? He laughed in my face..."

"Exactly. I do not want you comparing me to Quincy... That's what I'm afraid of baby."

"Your not Quincy....I could never want him.....I have never wanted anyone but you..."
Except this one man...Dewayne's friend...

"Still baby, I just don't want to be like him in any way.... now if you want. I will make love to you..."

Kevin looked at him.
"Really? You'll make love to me?"
He wouldn't let himself get all excited though....

Rick nodded.
"You seem more upset that I wouldn't than you were about how bad I hurt you... so yes. But no role playing, no weird shit. Just you, me and a bed.

"Rick.....It hurts me more than you will ever know but...Since I love you I wont break down and cry like I want to. I cant because you already feel bad enough. I cant do that to you."

"Oh honey... do it. I deserve it. I should feel even worse than I already do..."

"No you don't.....I don't need to let you see just how fucked up I am over this. I have been raped before....It was but was not. You fucked me, Quincy stopped maybe halfway into it. You hurt me, but since I am in love with you it does it home but...I just cant be mad...I cant...I love you and its not your fault one fucking bit. Its my fault."

"Kevin baby...." He was WORSE than Quincy. Not on the same level, not above him... WORSE..

Kevin smiled.
"I just love you...Too much to hold this against you...."
His daddy might but he wouldnt.

"I'm so sorry.. if I knew... I thought you were acting...." He hung his head.

Kevin kissed the top of his head.
"I know and thats what makes it okay. I knew you thought that...I knew baby so its fine."

"It ain't okay but... c'mere." He scooped Kevin in his arms and kissed him passionately.

Kevin smiled into the kiss, his arms wrapping around his lover's neck.
"Baby...."

"You want to make love now?" Rick asked, caressing his cheek.