Do You Want To Know A Secret?

Mike didn't want to the doctor touching him. He dealt with it for Alex and his baby. When the doctor was done he called Alex back in. Mike closed his eyes and waited for one of the worst moments of his life to pass him by.

"About fuckin time." Alex growled as he was let back in. He shot a glare at the doctor as he caressed Mike's hand with his thumb.
"So what's the deal? Is he pregnant or not?" Alex asked, more worried than he let show.

Mike shook his head, staring at the doctor pleadingly. "No." The doctor answered shortly. Mike's world crumbled.

It was as if that one word sent Alex's world spinning. He felt like he was going to cry, die and punch something at the same time. He stood from his seat beside Mike.
"I'll be right back." He croaked, then ran out the door to the bathrooms at the end of the hall. He locked himself in the largest stall, and placed his hands on either side of the sink, holding himself upright. Tears fell down his face and into the sink only to swirl down the drain.
His child was gone all because of some horny fucking asshole.

The doctor left, leaving Mike all alone. Alex had left....Mike was crushed. Mike laid down of the bed, one hand over his face to had the tears and stop the sobs the were trying to force there way out of Mike's throat and the other pressed against his stomach.

Alex slowly, made his way back to the room. His tearstreaked face was earning him many stares and sympathetic smiles. Several people stopped him to ask if he was alright. He just shrugged them off, he didn't feel like talking. He walked into the room and without words, took Mike's hand and buried his head in Mike's chest, letting his tears stain his lovers shirt.

Mike wrapped his arms around Alex, letting him cry. Mike carded his finger through Alex's hair soothingly, muttering over and over. "Im, so sorry." There baby was gone because Mike couldn't protect it. Mike held Alex tightly.

"Not your fault." Alex cried. "It's my fault. I made you leave. If it wasn't for me you wouldn't have been out there tonight." He clutched handfuls of Mike's hospital gown.
"It's gone." Alex sobbed.

"Shhhhhhhhh, baby....maybe it just wasn't meant to be. I left, im so sorry. I was upset...I-I didn't mean for this to happen." Mike shook his head. "This is in no way your fault. If anything you saved me...that might not mean much to you right now but it means the world to me...Y-you tried baby..." Mike sighed. "I am so sorry....I wish it was me instead of our baby...."

Alex's head shot up at Mike's last words.
"Mike, I loved that child already, but I love you more than I will ever love anything. Don't even think about saying that. No, don't even think about thinking about that. You had every right to leave, I was an asshole. Don't blame it on yourself."

"Alex....you did nothing w-wrong." Mike caressed Alex's cheek. "I was stubborn, I was taking every little thing to seriously, You wanted this baby so bad." Mike closed his eyes as a lone tear fell down. "I can't give it to you and Im so sorry. I wasn't strong enough to stop him, I lost out baby..I should take its place but I can't. And for that im sorry." Mike kissed Alex's forehead. "My sweet baby..I know you love me but you would have loved that child more and I took that from you." Mike shook his head. "You need someone that can give you a baby a-and not act like I did and loose it." By the time Mike finished he had tears cascading down his cheeks.

"No. Don't be like that. I love you. You mean everything to me Mike." Alex said, still bawling. "I c-could never love a-anything m-more than i love you."

"How c-can you s-say that? I lost our ch-child. I lost your baby!" Mike wailed, clutching Alex to his chest. "I-I lost Alex J-jr. Mike sobbed.

They sat there in silence, holding each other. The room was silent except for their sobs.
"It's not your fault Mike. Y-you tried to stop him. I-I should have gotten there faster... if only i'd gotten there a few minutes earlier."

"I-It wouldn't have h-helped. H-He had already beat me......kicked my st-stomach in." Mike sniffled. "A-and you didn't know th-there was no way you c-could have." Mike pecked the top of Alex's head. Mike took Alex by the arms and tried to move him off of his stomach, he had miscarragied, that alone made his stomach bad but he also had a man kicking him in it so Alex laying on it was hurting him. "A-Alex, please...can you move up h-here..." Mike swallowed. "Y-your h-hurting my st-stomach."

"S-sorry." He sniveled, scooting up to Mike's chest. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Mike any more.

"I-Its fine...you can't hurt it much worse." Mike mumbled. "A-Alex....w-will we be o-okay?" Mike tried to calm down and stop crying but he couldn't. He wanted Alex to have the baby that was so wrongly taken away from him. Mike took it away. Mike closed his eyes as more tears leaked out.

"O-of course we w-will. I m-mean it's horrible we lost the b-baby, but th-that doesn't change my l-love for you. N-not one bit." Alex sobbed, still clinging to his lover.

Mike held Alex close, and kissed his temple. "I love you Alex." Mike whispered, and added mentally, I am so sorry for taking your baby away.