To Poison You With Memories Of You and Me...

Lane sighed softly.
"Im so fucking dirty." He smiled at his lover.

Devin kissed the top of his head.
"Do I need to clean your hole?" He frowned lightly.

Lane nodded.
"Yup, dirty there too Boo."

"So they raped you?" He frowned, gently turning him over.

Lane nodded with a small sighed, he had to be strong for his lover, act like it was fine.
"Yeah..."

Devin frowned deeply his own heart hurting as he gently slid a finger into his hole.

Lane sighed softly.
"Its alright baby..."

"Don't comfort me hun..." he shook his head and kissed his temple as he washed him out.

Lane chuckled.
"But its my job...Alex."

Devin tensed up but said nothing, simply continuing to wash him. He should've known it wouldn't last.

Lane couldn't help it, he hated that he did it but...In his heart he knew it was Devin but in his head...
Alex.

Was Alex the one who was here cleaning him up now?
Was Alex the one who loved Lane and only Lane?
Was Alex the one who had just bawled nonstop when Lane was taken?
Was Alex the one who had given Lane his virginity on their very first night together?
Was Alex the one who would stand here and stay strong while Lane had just been raped?
Was Alex the one who would just stay here and let Lane pretend he was someone else 24/7?
No.
But was Alex the one who would always have Lane's heart?
Yes.
Why wasn't Devin good enough... why...?

Lane sighed and shook his head, caressed Devin's cheek.
"I dont know whats wrong with me. I dont know why I call you that because here," He pressed on of Devin's hands to his heart. "I know very well who you are." He took the hand and rested it on his head. "But here, it wont call you that...maybe because our first night together...I made myself believe you were him...I dont know but now I do."

Devin shook his head.
"I...I look like my momma. I act a little like my momma. But I'm by no means him... I'm a completely different person Lane. YOu don't love Devin Riley-McDaniels. You love the person he's been pretending to be..." He sighed.

Lane sat up and shook his head, slowly undressing Devin and pulling him in the tub.
"No. My Devin is not like Alex. My Devin is special and even if I call you that...it just means I cant get it through my head your not him because I never thought I would love anymore more than him...so my mind says im not..im loving Alex but no...Its confusing but I love you..Devin..."

Devin kissd him softly.
"I love you... from the very first night..."

"I know...and know I love you too. It took me longer but I do...and I love you more than I loved Alex even though I say his name so much." He sighed.

"You do..?" He asked softly.

Lane nodded slowly.
"I do....If you dont believe me okay but I know...I call you Alex and I probably will for a while but I know...I know your Devin and I love you more."

That made his heart swell....
"Okay..." He could deal with it. He nodded and kissed him deeply.

Lane smiled at him, hugging him close and deepening the kiss. Yes....He didnt think it was possible but he loved Devin more...

Devin hugged him close, massaging his shoulders as he let the happiness of this moment wash over him.

Lane sighed softly and leaned back, hugging his lover tight.

Devin pulled back and finished cleaning him up.

Lane sighed softly but grinned.
'Im so tired, lets got to bed."