If You're Reading This

"Get your bath." Alex said calmly. "Darling I'm not leaving.

"Alex I will go to Critter's and take a bath there because you cant get into his house and I wont be bothered over there." He was dead serious. "Im not kidding, this is how bad I feel."

"Mike please." Alex whimpered, lip trembling. He was prepared to bring on the fake tears if Mike wouldn't get his bath.

"No and do not do that, I am not stupid Alex." Mike grit his teeth and left the bath room, he went and gathered some clothes before going out side and getting in his car.

Alex ran out after him and stood in front of the car so if Mike moved he would hit him.

"Alex get out of the way!" Mike was close to just locking the car door so he could cry in peace because Alex was about to make him so frustrated he would cry.

"Come back inside please." Alex said, staying in place.

"Can I take a bath alone?" That was the only way he was going to get out and go inside.

"Fine." Alex sighed. "But tomorrow, you are getting one in front of me."

"No im not." Mike got out of the car with his clothes and then quickly went back to the bathroom and locked the door. He striped down and sunk into the water, trying to clear his head.

Alex sighed, flopping down on the bed. He was going to get Mike to get naked in front of him if it killed him.

Mike was in the bath for an hour in a half at least. He came out already dressed as he made his way into his and Alex's room. Mike curled up as far away from Alex as he could get. It bothered him to be bald.

Alex leaned over and kissed the nape of Mike's neck.
"Y'know you're working the bald look." He smiled.

Mike didn't have anything to say to that. "I miss my hair." It was hard for him to look in the mirror and all he could think of was how ugly he looked.

"I loved your hair. But I love you bald too." Alex grinned, running his hands over Mike's head.

Mike was quiet. "Some cancer patients say they would rather just die than go through all this pain." It was hard hear but he heard himself say it and he knew it was probably true.

"W-would you?" Alex asked, hating that he stammered.

Mike sighed, he had been thinking about that hard lately and tonight he finally had his answer.

"Honey, please at least tell me if you do. I mean I'd rather you try to fight it. But I don't want you to be in pain." His voice cracked.

"If it weren't for you, I would let it kill me." Mike caressed Alex's cheek. "It hurts, and to think I have a disease that's slowly killing me, or trying to, its scary. And the pain is intense but you know.....I have you so I have to much to live for to just let go."

"Baby thank you. I know it's hard but i'm glad that you'll try for me."

Mike nodded. This cancer has just broke him down, especially when he first started losing hair. "Alex.........I dont want to die." Mike whimpered.

"I know baby. I don't want you to die." Alex said softly.

"Earlier today...the doctor said without this chemo I wouldn't even have two months left." Mike shuddered as he cuddled closer to Alex.

"My poor baby." Alex sighed, holding Mike as tight as possible without hurting him.