I See Your Blue Eyes, Every Time I Close Mine....

Kelton just pressed his face into Gabriel's chest.
If was best he called him Gabriel...
No, Kelton would never cheat on Cade....No matter what.
But still...he was not truly Gabriel's baby...Daddy's were supposed to love you no matter what.
Normal ones at least...
But than again...
No one would love Kelton no matter what.
Not Dustin.
Not Gabriel.
Not Chris
Not Cade
Not Lance
Not Deven
Not Brody
Not Dewayne
Not Blaine
No one.
All Kelton had for sure was Kelton himself.

"I love you..." Gabriel hummed lightly.

"Love you too..." Kelton mumbled, moving to rub his arm where all his burns were.
He hated life.

Gabriel blinked, taking Kelton's wrist in his arm and looking closely.
"Kelton... what are those?"

"Scars." Kelton shrugged at him, unlike other cutters who had this big thing, one again Kelton had to be different.
He did not cut.
He burned himself.
He would tell you he did it and he would not stop.
Simple.

"From what?"Gabriel raised an eyebrow.

"Burns." Kelton moved his sleeve, pointing to several different burn marks.

"How do you burn yourself that much?" He asked as Cade watched worriedly.

"You know how other people cut themselves?" Keltton murmured softly. "Well I dont. I burn myself." The boy gently ran his fingers over the burns, humming softly.

"Why the hell do you do that?" Gabriel blinked as Cade gasped.
"Hell no..."

Kelton shrugged.
"Takes my mind off of one pain, and leads it to another, though the other being a burn, a physical pain I find easier to deal with."

"I don't make you happy?" Cade piped up, his eyes hard.

"Cade...I have burnt myself a lot less after being with you...But on days where we are fighting. I get alone. I burn myself. On my birthday when he were fighting. Before going to Barry's I burned myself. When you left after Gabriel and Angel were fighting and I was upset, I burned myself. Things like that. You make me happy Cade, only when we are fighting am I alone and hurting....so I force the emotional pain away and I burn myself...I cause Physical pain I know I can control."

"No... you can't do that anymore..." Cade shook his head, looking hurt.

"Cade." Kelton smiled. "I can. And I will when I need to. Unlike cutters, I dont cut over nothing. I only burn when I need to and when I need to...im going to. This is how I cope."

"You can't do it..." He said simply. "I don't want you to..."

Kelton stared at him, his gaze hard.
"Are you really going to do that to me Cade? Take away the only thing in my life I can handle?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize I made things so fucking hard for you. I've been killed by my own father, see anything on my wrists? My momma was abused for the majority of his life, ya don't see him cutting. You don't see any one with a lover cutting Kelton. You have a boyfriend who loves you and a daddy now.There is no reason for you to hurt yourself and I won't have it..."

Kelton simply stared at him, the sick boy was beside himself.
He just moved away from Gabriel and Cade, and laid down.
He was not going to sit there and listen to Cade say his life was just fine, he shouldnt do anything because his life was not bad.
Cade should try living in his shoes.
Sure Gabriel killed him but the man loved him.
Angel was insane.
Dustin never killed Kelton but every day of the boys life...
He had hurt him.

Cade shook his head, holding his knees to his chest.
He knew Kelton's life was not perfect but it wasn't bad enough to hurt himself over. Every little fight he had with Cade he was going to burn himself?
No.
All couples fought. But you didn't see everyone going home and fucking scarring themselves over it.
Cade found the concept ridiculous. Only people with abusive lovers who didn't treat them well did that...

No....
Kelton did not do it every time...
Only times when it was too much to Handel....or when he was just that alone.
His birthday? Cade had gotten him fired, they fought, He was in the room all alone..
Not one family member called to tell him happy birthday....
Not Lance, or Dewayne, or Devin, or Brody or his mother...
He had been utterly alone.
When Cade left after The thing with Gabriel and Angel?
Cade had walked out. Kelton had been scared....He hated violence after that one time with his father. He had been scared to death and alone....
He was alone.

Cade refused to have a self harming lover... It meant he was not doing a good enough job.
No matter how hard he tried he was NEVER good enough.

Kelton didnt see it like that.
Cade was the only thing that persuade him to get up in the mornings.

So why did he have to hurt himself if Cade was a good lover?
Cade didn't understand.

So then Cade needed to talk to Kelton...
Kelton would explain all he could....he did not do it much...
He just..couldnt help it at times.