My Scars Are The Story Of My Life And This One Is For You

Alex drug a hand across his face, blinking back the tears threatening to fall at any moment.
He shouldn't have to think. He should automatically be able to tell Mike he loved him more.... shouldn't he?

Mike was miserable, he had been replaced and yet he couldn't hate Critter for taking Alex away. He loved them both but Alex was everything. Mike had been right, Alex did move on and replace him and it hurt but he was happy. Mike had to keep telling himself that, they were happy so he should be to. It wasn't that simple.

Alex pulled Mike into his arms, well attempted to.
"Sweety, I love you more. No question about it." Alex lied. He whispered it, praying to god Critter wouldn't hear. He didn't like lying to Mike but he had to at the moment. Until he sorted out his feelings.

Critter heard, and it had hurt him more than anything gun shot, any scar. He wanted to cry and he probably would have but he didn't want Alex to see how much it had hurt.

Mike had believe him, been over joyed to hear it. He hugged Alex tightly. He kissed his husband and cuddled up close to him.

Critter sighed. "A-Alex can you please move, your hurting me." He wasn't a complete lie, it was hurting him but he just wanted them to get off him for the moment, he was in emotional and physical pain and he didn't like it.

"Oh I'm sorry Lane." Alex said, quickly getting out of the bed. His heart ached at how happy Mike was. He bought it.

Mike grinned at Alex and pecked his lips, whispering. "Thank God, I thought I had really been replaced." Mike went and kissed Critter's cheek, hugging Alex once more before he left. He just disappeared.

Mike was just so sweet...
Alex didn't deserve him anyways.
"Lane..." Alex started. He needed to get these feelings out in the open. "Can we talk?"

Critter really just wanted to be alone but he had no right to be so hurt.
Then why was he?
"Sure...."

Alex sighed. He had no clue how to even begin this.
"You heard what I said there didn't you? To Mike?"

"Yeah I heard....." He looked away. Alex didn't have to rub it in, he really didn't

"Well it was bullshit..." Alex said with a sigh. "I just didn't want to hurt him..."

"Alex Boo, don't lie to me. Can you honestly say you love me more than him?" Critter's heart sank.

"I... I don't even know Lane... I feel awful. I feel like I should love Mike more. He's always been there for me. But... but I think if we're being honest... I love you more..." Alex sighed. "I don't know. I just know that that was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I just needed to buy myself some time to think..."

"You think about it then. I don't want a lie, I want the truth. "I have thought about it, went to Sarah's gave and told her about it." He shrugged.

"And?" Alex said, gesturing for him to tell more. He didn't think he could take it if Lane said he loved him more than Sarah...

"I love you.....I love you more than I love Sarah." He sighed. "The ring, as long as I wore the ring I thought nothing of it but I still knew deep down I loved you more. I gave the ring away, I stopped pretending....I love you more." He shook his head. "I don't expect to have my feeling returned."

Alex's heart ached and he put his head in his hands, massaging his temples.
The tears brimmed his eyes. What the hell did he have to cry about? He had the two most amazing men on the planet in love with him.
"Let's put it this way..." He was hoping that Critter would realize he loved Sarah more. It would hurt but it would be so much easier. "Would you kill me if it meant you could have her come back in my place?"

"No....." It was the truth, it was hard to admit but it was the truth and he knew it, Sarah knew it. He loved Alex more.

Alex wasn't sure whether to smile or cry at those words. It was the sweetest thing he'd ever heard. But it certainly was not making this any easier.

"Alex, I love you more than I loved Sarah. I don't want you to lie to me so when and if you say I want the truth." Critter wanted to cry, he felt pain but he wouldn't....he couldn't.

"Well at the moment... I love you more than Mike. But I don't want to say anything until I'm certain. This is a big decision."

"Well then decided, I can wait for you Alex, I don't mind." Critter sighed and tried to lay back down, he hissed as he strained his back.

Alex kissed Critter softly on the lips, taking in the faint taste of... he didn't know what. To him that was just the taste of Critter. He took in the sparks in his mouth when their lips met. It felt as if he was eating poprocks. He cherished this. He knew he had to take every tiny detail into consideration.

"Alex Boo....why don't you go home? Im fine by my self." He needed to be alone.

Alex didn't want to leave but he needed alone time and he guessed Critter did too. He kissed his forehead.
"No doing anything stupid. I'll be back tommorrow morning. First thing. I love you. I really do darlin."