Somewhere With You

"If you don't mind explaining it to me. I would like to know, I bet momma wants to know to but momma dont seem to mind you, he is just happy your still with him." Kevin tilted his head at his father.

"Alright hun. You don't get what it's like to be the man in a relationship. I'm not saying you're a woman but for arguments sake you are a girl." He gave a small smile. "Nothing means more to the man than waking up every morning and seeing the "girl" he loves. And that joy is tripled when the girl is pregnant. No guy wants something more than he wants to be a father. Well no decent guy. And when something is threatening that chance of his baby coming out alive and healthy, it brings out a part of him even he didn't know was there. He's willing to do anything and I mean anything to keep that baby. And with Rick there's also the fact that he's never had a child of his own. He had Carrie but she wasn't his baby. And to be honest, I think he loves you more than Syd so, it's different anyways." Alex smiled. "That's the best I can explain it. And that doesn't fully explain how awful it is for us, thinking of something happening to our baby."

"Oh daddy....I hate to think how bad it was for you when you lost Jessie...You even got to old Jessie." He didnt even think himself, "And your so protective of momma....its sweet but he wants to choke you when you have Rick watching him. You are a wonderful daddy though...thank you." Kevin hugged his father tightly. "I love you...I wanna be close to you...."

Alex hugged his son close.
"Baby, it was awful losing Jessie, getting to hold her and all. But you wanna know what the worst pain I've ever felt was? Worse than watching momma have Aaron. Worse than leaving Lane. Worse than after I hit your momma and when he was scared of me. When that doctor told me Mike and I had lost our first baby. You." Alex said pulling back just a bit to look him in the eyes.

Kevin's eyes welled up with tears and his buried his head in his father's chest.
"Oh daddy I love you....."
A small smile played on his lips as his father didnt say when momma died. He loved how much his parents loved each other.

"I love you too baby." Tears welled up in Alex's own eyes as he held his son. "Please don't ever forget that or doubt it for one second."

"I try not too, its just hard. I haven't known you long...and when you said you were glad I died it just crushed every hope I had that you would love me. But its getting better.....Im still scared to hug you sometimes..."

"Oh baby, you can hug me anytime, anywhere. I love you so much darlin'. I want you to be able to come to me and know you can tell me anything and I'll do my best to help..."

"I will try.....I like talking to you...being able to talk to you." Kevin grinned brightly. "And I think Rick should learn to go to momma....I love watching you and momma, you two are like the....just the image of love."

Alex smiled.
"I think Rick will eventually. And baby I'm glad we set a good example for you." He grinned.

"Yeah, you two have been through so much and you too are still so in love....and im.......im happy to have a family for the first time ever. I have had momma but now I feel like I have a daddy instead of a father...and then there is Rick.." Kevin nuzzled his fathers cheek.

"Yes baby, you got me. I've always been daddy. I guess... I just, Alex and I were never the closest. Of course I love him but you two are so different. I didn't know how to raise you. To be honest, I was a bit scared. It seemed like you hated me when we first met." Alex frowned slightly.

"No......I have never hated you daddy and I have never met Alex before but I hear we are both momma's boys. I wanna be momma and daddy's boy. I might sound like a baby but I have never gotten a chance to have a daddy and I get you...you were with Lane but that didnt matter to me, I wanted so bad for you to want me, want to know me like I wanted to know you. I was nervous and I was scared too. When momma was upset I....I just closed up to protect him and then we had an argument and it was just like you were done with me...."
He always wanted his fathers love...

"I just didn't know you well baby... I was so sick of everyone treating me like I was some horrible person... no one bothered to make sure I was okay or how much I was hurting. I was so tired of it. I just immediately blocked out anyone who was yelling at me and tryying to tell me how to feel."

"You know....Momma is always worried about you, always wondering if your happy and....I do to, even when you hurt me and I wanted to hate you.......I still worried about you, I still loved you. You need to tell momma when your upset daddy, he wants to take care of you...He feels second too Lane because he cant protect you like Lane....He is trying and Im trying too. We love you daddy...so much." Kevin listened st his fathers heart beat.

"I love you too. And your momma. More than you could ever imagine." Alex said softly.

"No, I think momma loves you more than you could even imagine. And its different for me. Sydney and Alex have your love unconditionally. I have to work for it."

"No, baby you have my love unconditionally too. Honey, you always have. You were just sort of new to me... I didn't know how to express it."

"Well its fine now.....Thank you daddy, I think Rick needs to thank you too." Kevin snuggled up to his father.

"Nah, I haven't done anything worth thanking." He smiled softly.

"You made me happy and convinced me to eat even when it makes me sick. This will save him alot of fighting." Kevin grinned at him and giggled when his mother called them up for breakfast.
"He sounds on edge today..."

Alex sighed.
"He always is ain't he?" He frowned. "I gotta fix that."

"Just keep in mind, if your needing comfort or love or anything..... no matter how he feels you will have that and if you need me im here daddy, besides you I know momma best. I dont like when he is on edge...it worries me."

"It worries me too baby." Alex patted Kevin's hair.

"Well...I think you help him without knowing it. Just being here and not with Lane.....you dont know what it means to him...." Kevin rested on his father.