Futuristic Lover

Alex frowned. He didn't want to give up a child. Not again. But he couldn't do this to Mike.
"I-if you don't want to d-do this it's f-fine." He sobbed.

Mike hugged Alex tightly. "A-Alex.......I'll keep it." Mike said, trying to hind the pain in his voice. "I'll keep the baby, okay." Mike caressed Alex's cheek. "Just don't cry baby." Mike shuddered. "It'll be fine, you will be a daddy, and a damn good one."

Alex saw right through Mike's act. He knew he really didn't want the child.
"I just want a normal family, is that so much to ask?" Alex asked, looking up at his lover, teary eyed. "I don't want our child to know that they were made because of rape. I don't want them to go through life knowing that it makes one of their parents sick to look at them. I don't want them to need endless years of therapy!" Alex bawled.
"I just want a normal fucking family. With you Mike."

Mike said nothing, he just sat there. "Alex......I can't help the way I feel." Mike continued. "But I will at least try to love it, for you." Mike brought his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. "I will try for you....because I love you." Mike faked a smile,"I am looking forward to having a baby."

"Mike, I know that's not true. The last thing I want right now is for you to say something you don't mean. If we want to make this work out. Somehow we need honesty.So, please tell me how you feel. Please." Alex begged. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't get rid of the child. But he couldn't make the man he loved go through with having it either.

"I told you I don't want it but...you do and I will give you a baby." Mike put his head down, ashamed of not watching the child. "I should have given you a kid a long time ago." Mike shook his head, "But I didn't so now I will." Mike reached his hand out to Alex. "I love you more than life, especially more than what I want." Mike sighed. "The kid will stay."

Alex's stomach twisted in a knot. He wanted Mike to be happy. He knew how hard it had been for Mike to get over being raped. He had just started to forget. This child would be a constant reminder. He couldn't do that to Mike.
"Mike, I can't make you go through with this. Sure, i want a child. You know i do, but we'll wait a while longer and make another. It'll be mine this time, ok? Now get dressed and I'll drive you to the abortion clinic to make an appointment." Alex spoke fast so Mike wouldn't object and make him change his decision again.

"No...." Mike shook his head. "Alex...I will not take another baby from you." Mike picked Alex's hand up and kissed the back of it. "I want you to be happy.....I am giving you this baby. Mike got up and went to the bed in the hotel, stripped down to his boxer, and got in bed. "I don't want to hear anymore about it." Mike said, waiting until he though Alex was going to let it go and when he did, Mike began crying. Mike didn't want this baby.

Alex laid silently beside Mike. He knew that Mike thought he was asleep but he wasn't. He wasn't even close to being able to sleep. All he could hear were Mike's quiet sobs and each one made his heart break a little more. Mike had insisted on doing this but Alex knew he didn't want it.

Mike wanted to reach out to Alex, tell him to please don't make him have this kid but he could and he wouldn't. Mike couldn't help the sobs that escaped him. Mike didn't want to wake his lover. "Please, God....im so sorry for what ever I did to deserve this." Mike whimpered softly.

Alex couldn't take it anymore as he heard Mike's pleading words.
"Mike that's it. We are not having this child and that is final." Alex said suddenly. He crossed his arms across his chest. "You don't want it and that means i don't want it if you don't want it."

Mike jumped, almost falling out of bed. Mike wiped his eyes quickly. "A-Alex, baby, I thought we had already had this conversation?" Mike, cuddled close to Alex. "Your gonna be a daddy, remember?" Mike said hoarsely.

"You're right. I am going to be a dad." Alex said, then paused. "One day. But that day won't be any time soon. You keep saying you want to make me happy. Well i won't be happy if you aren't. I can see already what just thinking of this baby does to you. I don't even want to imagine what actually having it would do. So we are not having a baby. End of discussion Michael." Alex crossed his arms again.

Mike crawled on top of Alex. "I-I will be okay, I know you want this baby so im w-willing to try Alex." Mike buried his head into Alex's chest. "I will do this for you, and I will try to love it." Mikes words were sincere. "But If I don't please don't hold it against me." Mike was pressed into Alex's chest, his arms resting on Alex's shoulders.

Alex held Mike up gently, so he was looking in his eyes.
"I'm serious Mike. No baby. Atleast not yet, not this one. Tomorrow I am making you an appointment at the clinic, do not try and change my mind."

"I wont go.....and you can't make me." Mike was not letting Alex give up his chance of being a daddy. "You want a baby.....I WILL give you one." Mike said, hiding his face, it was hard to fight for something that you didnt want.

"I can and will make you, Michael." Alex said firmly, but not wanting to be rude to his lover.

"Please.." Mike whimpered. "I-I wont be able to forgive myself knowing you want this baby and im the reason you can't have it." Mike's lips quivered. "Don't make me resent myself anymore than I already do for losing your first child."

Alex frowned. This was exactly why he had said end of discussion. Only a few more minutes of this and he would give in.
"But Mike, I can't do this to you, ok? If having this baby will hurt you, that means i don't want it anymore."
Before Mike could respond Alex rolled over.
"Goodnight. Be ready to go to the clinic in the morning." He called before trying to go to sleep.

Mike got out of bed and ran into the bathroom. Mike slid down against the bathroom door. Mike felt the onslaught of tears coming. Mike put a hand to his stomach and let out a sob. Tears kept falling with Mike whispering broken words to nobody. Mike sobbed brokenly, hating himself more and more.

Alex could hear Mike sobbing from the bathroom. He placed his hands over his ears and hummed quietly to himself.
"La la la la cant hear youu." He sang, willing to do anything to drown Mike out.

Mike had cried so hard he made himself sick. Mike knelt beside the toilet, puking every so often and when he wasn't puking he was crying. Mike camped out on the bath room floor that night, praying to the porcelain God and crying his heart out, wondering what he had done to deserve this and what he could do to make Alex keep this child; not for Mike but for himself.

Alex woke the next morning, eyes bloodshot from the tears. He noticed Mike was gone. He heard noise coming from the bathroom. He walked over and saw Mike bent over in front of the toilet barfing. He placed a comforting hand on his lower back.

Mike acted like Alex wasn't even there. Mike rested his head against the toilet bowel, whimpering.

Alex leaned down and pecked the back of Mike's neck, then gently nipped his earlobe, then kissed his cheek, then finally his lips. He didn't care that they tasted of Mike's puke, he loved him just the same.