If You're Reading This

Alex simply shrugged.
Nothing was going to change his opinion on Dustin.

Critter laughed at him. "You really hate his guts don't you." That was fine because he knew how testy Dustin was. "It didn't matter, you had Mike wrapped around your finger from day one."

"You bet I do... wow I'm going to hell aren't I?" He laughed, realizing he hated a dead man.

Critter snorted, "But really, I hate that you feel the need to be jealous but that stupid because I trusted Sarah more than anything but couldn't stand anyone who touched her." Critter shrugged. "And Mike bless his heart. You two were fighting when those pains hit him last night, he ignored it until he got to my house. Then he screamed and cried and called for you to help him." Critter shivered. "I would have rather been tortured myself than see the pure pain and anguish in his face."

Alex shook his head.
"I should have been there with him."

Critter poked him. "Yeah you should have, but then again he shouldn't have called Chris over in the first place so you're even."

Alex chuckled.
"Yeah... I llike you way more than Daffy." He smirked.

Critter was about to respond to that when A doctor walked up, he looked grave.

A large lump formed in Alex's throat. He clutched onto Critter's hand for dear life.

Critter held onto Alex's hand tightly. "Whats up doc?" He questioned lightly, trying to make his stomach stop churning at the look of...gloomy uncertainty on the doctors face.
"He needs chemo, his body was too weak for that. I told him but he wouldn't listen. His chance of living are little to no." Critter glanced at Alex, squeezing his hand.
"But....there is a small chance?"
The doctor nodded and told Critter a number before walking off.

"Critter..." Alex said softly.
"I will not break down, I will not break down, I will not br-" He cut his thoughts off with a sob. Goddamnit.

Critter drug a hand across his face. He wouldn't cry infront of people, it was not something he would do. Critter was the strong one. Critter stood, his hand still clutching Alex's. He sent Cameron to the nursery and he led Alex back to some rooms that were blocked off and the smell of sterilizer and death hung in the air. He stood out side a door, the light were dimmed but before he went in his pulled Alex into a hug. "Go ahead and cry because you need to, and it will be alright to cry in there to. Ill be here for you okay?"

"I'm sorry I'm such a fucking wimp. I cry too much." He growled, wiping at tears which were by no means stopping.

"No you don't. Your husband might be dying. The man you love and have loved for twenty years might be dying. You can cry for that and you lost your baby. I would cry to."

Alex buried his head in Critter's shoulder and began sobbing.
"I'm sorry."

Critter hugged Alex, an arm around his back the other rested on his head. "Don't be sorry just let it out." He didn't want Alex to be so bad when they walked in because he knew how bad it might be.

"Critter I c-can't take it. He can't die." Alex sobbed.

Critters eyes flicked to the door. "Maybe you shouldn't go in. Let me step in and see how bad it looks, then I can decided weather or not you can take seeing it." He paused. "And we will try our best to assure he doesn't, together." He squeezed Alex's hand before stepping in the room and the site of what Mike looked like almost brought a tear to his eye....almost.

"Critter, I'm coming in." Alex said. "I need to see him." Alex stepped into the room, eyes clenched tightly shut.

Mike was white as a ghost, his lips tinted blue. His eyes staring that them, the spark gone. He lay on his side lifelessly, his chest did not rise and fall. The only indication he was alive was the beeping monitors.

Alex couldn't take the sight of his husband like this. Knowing that the last words he said to him were not 'I love you.' His knees gave out and everything went black.

Critter cursed and quickly picked Alex up, checking him out. He took him to the doctor and the doctor gave Alex his own room one the first floor. Six floor away from the cancer floor, Mike's floor.

All Alex knew was that when he woke up he was not with Mike. And he did not like it. He threw a fit and demanded they let him out of his room but he was refused.

Critter came by the room to see him. He had a small photo album in his hand. "Hey Alex, you feeling better He had old him not to come in.

"I'm fuckin' fine." Alex said. "I don't need this shit." He growled tugging at the IV attached to his hand. "Mike needs me."