This Is Why...

Alex whimpered and turned away.
"Fine. Is it really so bad that I don't want to fuck you?" He frowned.

"Alex, please don't do that. Just go over there and go to sleep."
Mike laid back down.

"Fine." He snapped, though his eyes shown with hurt. He laid down in bed... alone.

Mike sighed and tired to curl up and sleep but it hurt to move like that so he just laid on his side, away from Alex.

Alex cried silently until he dosed off. He dreamt again of making love to Mike. He murmured his name several times in his sleep.

Mike stayed awake. When he was sure Alex was asleep he changed beds and crawled into bed with his almost lover. Mike slept there with him all night until he awoke early the next morning and went back to the other bed.

Alex was still sleeping when Mike moved back to the other bed. Right about then was when the dream turned into a nightmare. He was back in the prison cell and the man was raping him again. He was rolling around quite resltessly. Pleading, whimpering softly. Things like: "No. Please stop. It hurts. I have a boyfriend. Get out."

Mike frowned as he heard Alex's plea's. He got up and shook Alex's shoulder.
"Alex baby, get up." He urged.

Alex let out a single, bloodcurdling scream as in his dream, the man pulled out a knife and sliced a jagged line down his back. He didn't respond to Mike.

"Alex!"
Mike panicked as he continued to shake him. It finally came down to when Make slapped him across the face to wake him up.

Alex's eyes shot open when Mike slapped him.
"What the hell?" He muttered, rubbing the now red spot on his cheek.

Mike hugged him tightly, tears singing his eyes. He could not get the sound of that scream from his mind.

Alex frowned. He hadn't meant to really make those noises. He hated how much of a wimp Mike must think he was now.

"Are you okay?" Mike pulled back and started probing him, trying to make sure he was okay.

"I'm fine." Alex looked away. And he was... for the most part.

Mike's brow's knitted together.
"Whats wrong? Dont lie to me Alex."

"Well... maybe if someone had slept beside me and cuddled, I would have felt safer." Alex pouted.

Mike shook his head.
"You wouldn't have."
He had been cuddling him, Alex just didn't know it.

Alex frowned and tugged Mike by the waist into the bed beside him.
"Well cuddle me now anyways."

Mike sighed but cuddled up at Alex. His side of the bed was still warm. It was heavenly.

Alex smiled.
"Mike.. why were you upset that I wouldn't fuck you?" He asked softly.

"Well Alex....You just refused me and it hurt. I wasn't wanting a fuck, just wondering if you would allow me to have one if I wanted it. You said we weren't going to me intimate...it hurt." Mike shrugged.

"Mike, it isn't that I didn't want to fuck you..." Alex sighed. "I just don't fuck people. If we are going to be intimate, I want it to be making love."

"Have you honestly loved every one you have had sex with?"
He sure as hell hadn't.

Alex nodded.
"I've only had sex with two different people and I loved both of them."