The Hardest Part of Parenthood

"Good," Jeff smiled, pulling Mike up into his lap. "I like the sound of that."

Mike leaned against Jeff, resting his head on Jeff's shoulder. "I love you.....I love you more than anything."

"I love you too darlin," Jeff smiled. "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone."

"Im yours.....forever." Mike paused, adding "Unless there comes a time when you dont want me anymore."

"That's never gonna happen angel," Jeff smiled. "That's never ever ever gonna happen."

"Hmmmmm we'll see." Mike snuggled up close to Jeff.

Jeff held him tightly. "I love you too damn much to give you up," Jeff said.

"Jeff." Mike began. "Don't say things you may not always mean." Mike warned warily.

"Mikey........I'd die before I let you go," Jeff said.

"Jeff." Mikes voice held and un easy warning. "Baby, dont saythings like that, you mean them today but you dont know about how you'll feel later."

"Baby," Jeff began. He turned Mike's chin so he was looking in his eyes. "Have I ever lied to you before?" Jeff asked. "Have I ever hurt you?"

"No, you have never lied to me." Mike decided he would be honest considering Jeff knew when he was lying. "But you cant predict to future." Mike stared at Jeff. "And you have hurt me, but im sure I've hurt you too."

Jeff's green eyes looked away. there had to be a way to reassure his lover he wasn't going anywhere. That's when he got the idea. "Mikey, c'mere for a minute, come down to the studio with me."

Mike nodded, goiing with Jeff to the studio.

Jeff smiled and walked into his favorite part of their home. He'd recorded this song months ago, but now seemed like the perfect time to play it for Mike. Stepping into th booth he went through the recorded tracks and cued that one for playback before rejoining Mike, wrapping his arms around the smaller man.

It's in the silences,
the words you never say
I see it in your eyes,
it always starts the same way
It seems like everyone we know,
is breaking up
Does anybody ever stay in love, anymore?

I promise you,
from the bottom of my heart
I will love you till death do us part
I promise you as a lover and a friend
I will love you like I never love again
With everything I am

ooh I see you look at me,
when you think I'm not aware
You're searching for clues,
of just how deep my feelings are.
How do you prove the sky is blue, the oceans wide?
All I know is how I feel,
when I look into your eyes

I promise you,
from the bottom of my heart
I will love you till death do us part
I promise you as a lover and a friend
I will love you like I never love again
With everything that I am ooh yeah

Oh there are no guarantees
That's what you always say to me
But late at night I feel the tremble in your touch
Oh what I'm trying to say to you,
I never said to anyone I Promise

I promise you,
from the bottom of my heart
I will love you till death do us part
(I do my darling I promise you)
I promise you as a lover and a friend
I will love you like I never love again

With everything I am I promise you,
from the bottom of my heart
I will love you till death do us part
( I love you I love you I love you I love you)
I promise you as a lover and a friend
I will love you like I never love again
With everything I am

You're everything I am oh yeah
With everything I am

The song brought tears to Mike's eyes. "Jeff....that song is beautiful and all but still babe....we wont know until we get there just how long you will want me." Mike turned and placed a chaste kiss upone his lovers lips.

Jeff looked down and nodded. It hurt him that Mike wouldn't trust him enough to believe him, but what else could he do. He'd practically poured his heart out, and got nothing.

"Jeff, don't be like that." Mike hugged Jeff. "I know you love me and I love you......its just hard to be sure of how you will feel a year or two, even a month later." Jeff I love you, and hearing you love me to makes m so happy you don't even know, I couldn't live without you, but I have had people say they love me and then something happen and its over, they dont even care aymore."

"But I'm not like that Mike," Jeff said. "I don't give my heart out like that, you know that..." Jeff ran a hand over his hair. "I've been hurt to many times to do something like that to you baby."

"I know Jeff, but still the future is so un certain.....you just never know. I just happy you love mr right now. God Jeff, Im glad you love me at all." Mike burried his head into Jeff;s neck.

Jeff sighed softly. "I'm going to make you believe me one of these days," Jeff said, running a gentle hand over Mike's hair. "Some how. some way, I'm gonna make you believe me."

"Whatever floats your boat babe." Mike muttered into Jeff's neck. Mike was so tired of having his heart broken again.

"What do I have to do?" Jeff asked. "Tell me what I have to do to make you believe it and I will."

"Jeff, I don't know what you want to do.....I am just...I have learned that this is how to think just in case... but I know....If you leave one day it will be over for me." Mike confessed into Jeff's chest.

"I'm not going anywhere baby," Jeff said. "I'm not going anywhere."