Undesired

"i should have.... I should've known..." He knew there was no possible way to notice that but still..

"No, David its fine. Momma said their was not one possible way you could have know. When I woke up I was just....I don't even know. Im sorry, I wasn't blaming you I was just hurting and you promised me and I trusted that but its not your fault. Im just not normal so its fine."

"But you were right Dewayne... I promised you. I'm... I'm so sorry for breaking my promise." David sighed, shaking his head.

"Im fine, I was just being a baby I guess."
He was trying to shrug it off but he was anything but fine.

"You were most definitely NOT being a baby. You handled it fairly well actually."

"Well.....You helped...."
The gentle words....
The comforting kiss....
It helped more than he would know.

"How did I help? I mean, that's my job but what did I do?" David asked.

"Ummmm....You were talking to me....."
He didn't know if he wanted to mention the kiss....no matter how much it helped.

"Oh. I didn't know you could hear me." He smiled soflty. "but I'm glad that helped."

"Believe me. I heard and felt everything." Dewayne sighed, his thumb caressing David's hand.

David frowned but his hand immediately squeezed Dewayne's.

"David, im okay...."
But was he really? He was still feeling that pain, the helplessness, the terror.

"No you're not. I can just tell...." David sighed, stroking Dewayne's hair lightly.

"I'll get over it then I guess. I have to much on my mind to really sleep anyways." He sighed.

"What's on your mind? Remember imma be your new therapist. Talk to me."

Dewayne gave a small smile.
"I think im going to move out and either stay with my brother or my momma until I get a place of my own."

"Now why would you wanna do that?" He asked. "Seems like you have a good thing goin for ya. Not like the step mom? I know a lot of people are like that."

"No.....I love me step mom, possibly even more than my real mom and tonight.....Im done. I expected to be ignored once he had the kid and everything. He swore it wouldnt happen but look where I am. I have been ignored for three months now. I have know about my heart condition for three months, tried to tell them...they didnt listen. They are to busy with the kid and eachother to worry with me and tonight.....I am done with it. I don't know where he gets off pulling that shit on me but im done."

"Aw Dewayne, that's gotta be upsetting. But, you gotta give em a chance. Chris told me there's complications with the kid. It's too big. Plus he's a man so it's already gonna be more painful for him. They're just worried. Especially cause of what happened to you, it's worse for em. They're scared shitless. Wait til the kid's born at least before you move out. See if things change. Or tell them how you're feelling. I know that's cheesy but it could help. They probably don't even realize you feel this way."

"I don't know if I can. Im tired of this....I don't wanna wait anymore." Dewayne shook his head, staring at all the pictures.

"Hun, it'll stress your step mom out more, I can tell. And stress isn't good for the child. I know you might not want it but do you want your baby half brother hurt?" He asked softly as he followed Dewayne's gaze to a picture.

"David he is hurting me though. Im not a selfish person but im fucking tired of it......"
Dewayne had never been kissed before. He had fucked but never made love....never stayed long enough to be held.

David sighed.
"Well you can always leave now, then try and come back a while after they've had the baby."

Dewayne nodded.
"Ill try that."
He sighed at the pictures.
"So you got a boyfriend?"

"Nope... not anymore. I should probably take these down huh?" He sighed with a small smile.