Undesired

Mike shrugged.
"Im tired of being the cry baby, being so sensitive...You always had to be so careful of me." He winkled his nose in disgust with himself. "Im done with it."

"But I love it like that." Alex sighed softly.

"Alex....No...When I was like that it got on your nerves, all the crying got old and you hated the fucking sensitivity. I fix it...."

"Mike, I didnt get sick of it." Alex sighed. "I'd never dream of leaving you again but I don't like this..."

Mike was alarmed now.
"Wh-What? How do I need to be? Tell me and...And ill change for you!"

"Honey stop that damnit. I want you to be YOU. Like you were the day we met. If you feel sad, cry. If you feel happy, smile. Just, be MY Mikey." Alex sighed

"B-But....."
He would cry all the time.....
He didnt want to...But Alex wanted him too

"Baby..." Alex sighed, hugging his husband. "I just miss you is all."

Mike nodded, taking a deep breath.
"Okay...."
He would try to be him....
He hated himself

"I love you honey..." He sighed softly

"I love you too Alex." Mike really did....Mike loved Alex enough to do whatever it took to try and keep him happy. Mike had stopped his crying, got into the habit of pretending nothing bothered him. Mike turned tough, he was no longer the sensitive cry baby.

But Alex didn't want that... Alex hated that... he knew Mike wasn't really that tough naturally...

Mike sighed as he stood again.
"Baby ill be back." He had to go fold some clothes...
Mike had to be tough....Either tough or a crazy depressed fuck up.
He chose tough.

"Okay..." Alex sighed. But Mike was depressed anyways...

Mike did the folding, made sure the house was clean, checked to make sure that everyone was in bed and finally made sure the stove was off before crawling back into bed, falling on the bed with a tired sigh.

Alex was wide awake. He couldn't sleep but he was pretending to.

Mike put a hand to his face, staring up at the ceiling with a clouded vision. No Mike did not cry often but sometimes....When it all became to much....
He couldn't help it.
Mike sat up, his feet dangling from the side of the bed as he rested his elbow on his knee and his face in his hands.
"Wh-Whats wrong with me?" He whispered as he let a tear roll down his cheek.

Alex sighed as he sat up and hugged him aroound the waist.
"Nothing sweety..."

Mike jumped, sniffling and quickly wiping the tear away before leaning back against Alex.
"Its it p-past your bed time daddy?" He gave a smile to the father of his children as if he had not be about to bawl.

"Mike STOP. I can tell you were going to cry and don't let me stop you..." Alex sighed softly.

Mike shook his head.
"No..."
He couldnt cry infront of Alex anymore.

"Mike..." Alex shook his head. Mike wouldn't cry in front of Alex because he thought it would make Alex leave him again... but it was worse not crying...

Mike turned around, burying his head in Alex's chest.
He remembered there last kiss when Mike was still....He was Mike.....
He never thought a kiss could be so....He couldnt describe it.
It was the last kiss Alex shared with his Mikey.

"Baby..." Alex sighed. "Why? Why won't you cry anymore...?"

"Becuase then Ill be that same weak man I was, Ill be the man who even as a ghost longed for you. Ill be the man who died millions of times over with every kiss, every I love you and Every time you made love to Lane McCormick. Ill be back to that man who breaks down at just the thought of you loving him more. Ill be the man who cant stand up and fight because he knows he cant win. Ill be the man who was no good enough for your love....The one who depended on it so much that when it was taken away so was his heart and soul."