Undesired

"Baby... you really don't think I love you? Michael Mizanin Riley, if I didn't love you I could still be with Lane. If I didn't love you, you would be Michael Gregory Mizanin.... I love you Mikey..."

"Pity...." His whispered sadly as he turned over and buried his face in the pillow.
"I...I got to go clean to living room..."

"Mike! what the-? What the fuck? Where is this coming from? You KNOW I don't do fucking pity. If I wanted to I would be with Lane, hell I could fucking be with Chris. I could be with someone else but I'm with the one I WANT to be with. YOU Mike. YOU."

"Alex its not coming outta no where I promise you and I know what you can have....You have made it clear how quick you can leave me so im not going to cry...Im not going to bitch and whine. Im going to get up and clean OUR house..." He stood and trudged off to the living room.

Alex simply stared after him, hurt.
How could Mike think he didn't love him?

Alex chested on him, loved someone else more than him....Mike tried to be happy for him but.....it was......It was hard not to feel like he was second....
Mike picked up his cloth, got on his knees, and started scrubbing.

Alex sighed and laid down but he was unable to sleep tonight now...

Mike cleaned, he cooked, he washed clothes and he took care if Jayde. Then he came in and sat on the edge of the bed, his hands folded in his lap.
"Im sorry...."

"Don't be...." Alex shook his head as he stared blankly at the wall.

Mike crawled into the bed and sat, looking down.
"I-I....I cleaned up..."

"Okay...... thank you..." Had all he'd been trying to do gone to waste? All his efforts to rid his mind of everything involving Lane?

Mike sighed and looked at him.
"Alex baby its not....Look I understand all your doing for me and I could never thank you enough for it...Please done thing I dont realize it...I dont care because I do....It means more to me than you can ever know..."

"Why wouldn't you say something? I just... I never knew... I knew you thought yo werent good enough but..."

"But what baby? I know you love me, I was just being stupid and over dramatic...." Mike sighed softly as he looked down at his folded hands.

"No. No you weren't. I know you baby.. at least a bit... and you're serious. I just... am in shock I guess. I..." HE shook his head.

"Alex whats....I know you love me Alex...I didnt mean that sweetness." He laid down on Alex's chest.

Alex out of instinct stroked his hair.
"No. No lies...."

"Alex baby...."
He had fucked up again......
Alex would like him even less now...

"Stop that. Please. You always baby me now... I need to be the man but now there's no one to be man for."He sighed.

Mike looked away.
Wasn't that what he wanted? What he had with Lane? What was Mike doing wrong?

But Alex had gone back to MIKE. Not Lane. He had missed MIKE. His sweet, sensitive baby...

Mike swallowed hard.
"Alex....Wasn't that what you wanted? You wanted me to stop crying...Stop being such a sensitive baby all the time....I did...What am I doing wrong now?"

"Honey I never wanted that." Alex sighed. "Lane is... it was different with Lane baby. He just... didn't cry. Thats how he was. Always. But you, you're sensitive naturally. That's how you are... well WERE. It's not natural for you to be tough... and I don't like it." Alex sighed. "That isn't my Mikey."

"Im.....Im....."
He was Mike Riley, he was the man Alex married and had kids with, he was the man who was with Alex through war and all the fights that went along with sleepless nights, he was the one who died in his arms, he was the man he left for Lane, He was the man who took care of his family and did his chores like a good little house wife, all without complaining or crying. He was Mike....aa

"Baby I know you think thats what I want but it isn't." Alex sighed. "It just isn't you... so if you're doing it because you think I'll leave otherwise, it isn't necessary hun." Alex kissed his temple.