Can't Go On

"Yep, think I'll sell it. So, daddy last weekend when you and momma were away, Riley fucked me in your bed. It's comfortable." He noted. "And then he fucked me in the shower. Then in the garage. And in your car. Right in the driver's seat too. And all in one night daddy. Wanna know the cool part? He said even after that my ass is still so damn tight. Surprising right? With me being such a whore you'd think I'd be looser." He laughed as if this was hilarious and he was talking with a friend or lover, not his father. "Yupp. he says my ass feels so good around his big dick. And believe me, his dick is nice and big. Tastes good too. I love sucking it too, sometimes we dont' even fuck. i just suck him off al night long. He loves it when I bite his balls too. I just love doing it. I could do it all fucking day long daddy. So hows it feel daddy? Huh? Hows it feel knowing you raised a dirty whore?"

Dustin licked his lips, keeping his eyes on his gun. He could feel his blood pressure rising. He was getting close to shooting Riley, he was in good range too. His hands were trembling a little bit, he could feel every little thing from the way his blood pumped, his hands shook, his eyes stung.
His baby was just trying to upset him. Dustin had never thought he was a whore, he was just disappointed in his son. He should have known better. Dustin had always regretted getting Mike pregnant at so young...He loved Dewayne but it was not good for either of them to have a baby and then they lost him.....

"Well daddy? Not gonna answer me are ya? Disappointed in me. Dewayne's the perfect little boy. Never fucks up, has a nice lover who hes gonna wait to fuck until they're married. Then theres me." He laughed again. "Little ol me. The failure. The whore. The disappointment. You must feel like real shit dad huh? Raising a kid like me? So how does it fucking feel daddy? Tell me? Do you regret knocking momma up daddy? Do you wish he never had me? Wish you would've just kept Dewayne? Tell me daddy. I want to fucking know." Lance was now on his knees in his father's lap, faces inches apart. He was looking sort of insane right now.

Dustin stood abrupty, taking Lance by the front of his shirt, lifting him off the ground and looking into his eyes.
"You listen to me and you listen good. I have NEVER regretted you. I fucking love you damnit! You know what? I wanted you! I was so happy to have you!!! I didn't want Dewayne when Mike was pregnant because we were just kids like you and Riley!! I didn't want him....And you know what? Since he aint your momma's im distant with him alot and I dont know why! No I love you damnit! And yeah I do feel like shit! What kind of father am I to let you get pregnant at fourteen? To let you be so sexually active! I dont want you making my mistakes!!! But if you insist on sitting here and making me feel like shit then fine. I deserve it but dont you dare say I dont love you!!" He sat him down, pushing him off, taking his guns and stomping from the house.

"he talked to me..." Lance simple smiled wide. After a moment he followed his father out the door.

Dustin had gone, he was far out in the fields trying to fix a fence in the dark with his guns leaning on his old ford truck.

It took Lance an hour or two but he found his father out there.
"Dad...."

Dustin was silent for a moment, his hands bleeding as he roughly worked the fence.
"What Lance...."

"Wh-what did I do that was so bad?" He asked softly. "I... fell in love..."

Dustin sighed, running a hand through his dark locks.
"Yes Lance and so what? I fell in love that young. Love is fine. But having Dewayne fucked it up. Now im with your momma and im happy but at the time....having Dewayne and losing him...broke me and Mike up and at the time I was in love. It ruined my life and I dont want that for you."

"Daddy... you and I are two different people. And Riley and Mike are two different people. We're not the same couples and are mistakes are similar but... No. I'm not gonna call mine a mistake." Lance shook his head. "I love Riley with all my heart and I know y'all think I'm too young to know that but I know its true daddy. And... that baby I was so excited to have... never existed. And it hurts but... its not ruinin us. I'm upset but, I know one day... I'm gonna have Riley's babies... I'm gonna get married and I'm gonna have a family with him. I'm gonna get everything I wanted with him but when I'm older. And ready for it. Daddy... I'm not makin your mistake."

"Lance.....Don't start with meh boy." He shook his head. "And I dont like Riley either. He is your first cousin. Lance what in the hell are you thinking with him? You know its going to have me and Quincy fightin? I garan-damn-tee you thats whats going to happen. Then we will get your momma and Zac all upset. This whole thing is fucked up child. And I am not proud of it. I dont know where I went wrong. There is nothing wrong with you....Its me and my parantin....I dont know what I did....I tried so hard to be a good father to you and Dewayne...." He sat in the dirt, resting an arm on his knee and his head in his hands.

"Daddy... you really don't understand?" Lance sighed, kneeling beside his father. "I love him. So much. What if you found out that you were related to momma somehow. Closely related. Would it matter? Would you end what you guys have just because he was your relative? Apparently no one agrees with me but I don't think it matters. I'm in love and I could care less if Riley was my brother. I'd still love him."

Dustin shook his head.
"Child......Dont pull that on me. If your momma was kin to me I wouldnt have started anything and fallen in love. But he wasnt so I did. You watch your mouth and dont talk back."

Lance sighed heavily.
"I'm not trying to talk back daddy. I'm trying to explain something to you. Are you serious though? If you and momma were related you would never have given things a chance? Daddy, you can't help who you fall in love with and I fell in love with my cousin..."

"Yes because I was raised, where if I did that, my momma would take a belt and beat the shit out of me and when my father got home id get it again. They would send me off somewhere, to some military camp." He looked away.

"Daddy... I don't get that at all. I think if people love each other it shouldn't matter but thats just me I guess." He sighed. "I'm sorry for making you and uncle Quincy fight but I can't end things with Riley."

Dustin stood.
"Go home Lance. I dont want you near me right now." He shook his head, picking up his guns and getting in his truck.
"Get in, ill take ya home and thats it."

Lance sighed and climbed in.
"Daddy.. please don't stop talking to me again...." It killed him...

"You dont give a fuck about what I have ta say so why not? Dont matter what I say, you dont care and this is important Lance. Its not all about you and Riley, your fucking this family up. And when we all hate each other I hope yar happy." He drove down the dirt roads, looking out the window and away from his son.

"Daddy... its the other way around. You don't care what I say. I care so much about what you say... I know I'm just a kid but I'm YOUR kid. You don't care that I was absolutely miserable until I got with Riley... I just.. I'm not trying to be disrespectful daddy but... I hated it around here. Cooped up with nothing to do but help you with farmwork. I met Riley and now I'm happy daddy... can't you be happy for me?"

Well that hurt.
He made his son miserable.....
What a fucking good daddy he was.
He turned his head, hiding the tears as he pulled up to the house.
"Get out."
His voice cracked lightly but he didnt care, he needed to be alone.
Dewayne had saw his father cry once and it scared the piss out of him.
Dustin didnt cry....
Unless it involved his babies or Chris.

Lance's shoulders sunk as he stepped out of the car.
"Love you daddy..."

Dustin looked at him, tears brimming in the corners of his large brown eyes.
"I love you too Lance."
He put the truck in drive, easing out of the yard.

Lance sighed and sat down on the ground, pulling his knees to his chest.