I Shouldn't Love You, but I Want To

They waited for the bus to arrive. When it did Alex was immediately called over by some of his jock friends. He gave Evan a quick, apologetic look then walked over to sit with them. They talked just like normal. As if last night never happened... as if Evan didn't exist.

Evan knew that's how it was going to happen. He knew it all along. That didn't mean it didn't hurt though.

That day at lunch, Alex ate at his usual table in the center of the room. He watched Evan eating alone. Suddenly, something came over him.
"Evan! Over here!" He shouted across the cafeteria. This earned him a few odd looks. People wondering what he wanted to do with the new kid.
"Why'd you call the nerd over here?" One of his friends asked.
"'Cause I wanted to. Ya got a problem with that?" Alex said, standing up so he towered over the guy. He knew he would back down now, and if he didn't, it didn't matter. Alex could simply kick the guy out of the table. Alex ran things here.
"N-no." His friend looked down.
"That's what i thought."

Evan gave Alex a surprised look and walked over to the table.

"Move down." Alex commanded, making room for Evan beside him.

Evan wasn't going to make a fuss about it, not here, not now. He simply sat down and smiled.

"This is Evan." Alex gestured to Evan at his friends. A few murmured greetings but most just looked at him oddly.

Evan simply nodded nervously at them.

Alex tried to get Evan into the conversation but failed. Evan and his other friends just weren't the same kinds of people.

Evan felt so out of place. He stared at his feet.

Alex took his hand under the table, rubbing small circles on it with his thumb.

Evan gave a small smile.

Alex sat with Evan on the ride home from school. He chewed on his lip nervously. He knew he'd be in a lot of trouble if his parents were home. As the bus stopped at his house, there was the shiny, black porsche that meant his parents were inside waiting for him.
"Fuck." He muttered under his breath as he shot a pleading glance at Evan.
"Come in with me?" He asked.

Evan nodded. "Of course," Evan said. He rubbed Alex's shoulder gently. "I'll always be here for you," he whispered.

Alex nervously walked down the walkway into his house, with Evan right behind.

Evan followed behind him. He was nervous as well.

Alex rounded the corner and there were his parents. Dad in an armchair, arms folded over his chest. Mom seated on the arm of the couch, legs crossed at the knee. Such a typical 'in trouble' scene.
"Hey dad, mom." Alex said casually as if nothing had happened. This was usually the right way to approach things with his parents.
"C'mon Evan let's get to work." Alex said, pulling out his math book, hoping Evan would play along.

Evan nodded, slinging his bag off his shoulder. "Alright," Evan said.

"Alex, you know there is a reason why we're here." Alex's mom said, lips pursed.
"Yeah, cause god forbid you want to spend time with me for once." Alex grumbled.
"Young man, you do not talk to your mother like that." His father said.
"Now, let's get to the point of this. Where in the world were you last night?"
"I was at a friend's house."
"You know you're not to go away on a school night."
"So I forgot. Sue me."
"Guys do not have 'sleepovers'" His father interjected. "The only men who have sleepovers are fa-"
"FAGGOTS! I get it dad!" Alex screamed, wanting a hug from Evan so badly but knowing that if he so much as touched Evan, his dad would be on his back.

Evan bit his lip, he wanted to come up with an alibi for Alex, but he was a horrible liar.

The memories flashed through Alex's brain.
The numerous lectures about how being gay was a sin.
The slap across the face when his dad had caught him talking to a gay kid.
Having to break up with Cody because of his father.
Faking dates with girls just to convince him.
He was this close to losing it.
"No son of mine is going to be sleeping over at another boy's ho-"
"I don't give a flying fuck what you want!" Alex screamed.
"Young man watch your m-"
"Shut the fuck up! I am so sick of your lectures "Faggots this and gay that. 'no son of mine...' I will do whatever the hell I want to!" Alex fumed standing up and storming over to his father.

"Alex....." Evan pleaded softly.

"What?!" Alex shouted. He wasn't angry at Evan, he was just too worked up at this point.

"Please c-calm down, you're scaring me," Evan whimpered softly.

Alex snarled, but atleast attempted to calm himself. That was more than anyone had ever gotten him to do. So he did what he always did. He ran. He grabbed his crutches and moved as fast as he could, out the door and down the street, pushing past people.