I Shouldn't Love You, but I Want To

Evan smiled and gently wrapped his arms around Alex.

"Love you." He mouthed. He still didn't want to live but he was glad that Evan would still be by his side.

"I love you too Alex," Evan whispered.

"Hurts." Alex whimpered.

"I know baby, I know," Evan shushed him gently.

They didn't talk until they reached the hospital. Alex felt himself being carried around on stretchers and he didn't like it at all. He was being injected by needles, being proked and prodded like he was a science experiment instead of a human being.

Evan tried his best to stay close by.

He still wasn't able to move or he would've slapped away the hands grabbing at him. When they were finished he just laid there, wanting to reach out for Evan.

Evan stood by the bed. "I'm here mio caro," Evan whispered.

Alex grumbled. He wanted to move. He was sick of not being able to control anything.

"Shhhhhh," Evan said gently, running his hand through Alex's short hair.

"Wanna... go home." He whispered.

"I know baby, I know," Evan cooed.

Alex forced himself to open his eyes so he could see Evan.

"Hey baby," Evan smiled slightly.

Alex smiled and struggled to keep his eyes open. His eyelids were so heavy, all they wanted to do was slide back shut.

"Rest, mi amor, I'll be here," Evan murmured.

Alex looked down at himself to find he was in a hospital gown.
"Ugh." He mumbled. A closer look told him he was still covered in blood.

Evan sighed softly. "I'll be here for you baby, I promise."

"Why couldn't you just let me die?" He asked on the verge of tears. He would've already cried by now but he was just getting control of his body back.

"Because I love you," Evan answered simply.

"I don't want to live. Can't you see that? I just wanted to die, you weren't supposed to find me until I was dead." Alex shook his head, words drowning him of the little energy he had.

Evan turned away to hide the hurt in his eyes.

"I... I don't deserve to live." Alex shook his head. "Honestly, name one reason I should live. What do I have to offer to the world?" Alex asked a single tear sliding down his cheek.

"For me!" Evan snapped tears rolling down his cheeks. "You tell me you love me but now you're so ready to leave me alone aren't you!"