If You're Reading This

Alex sighed.
"Baby... I gotta get going." He blinked away tears. He gave him one more hug and kiss.

"O-Okay." Mike eyes widened. "Wait I almost forgot." He pulled a ring out from his pocket. It was a simple silver ring that had "Your lovers treasure, his hearts bearer." engraved in it. Mike handed it to Alex. "I wont lie to you, I got that ring from Daffy when we were six. It was his momma's and I always liked it so when she died he gave it to me. I wore that ring almost everyday since, I wore it when we met, I wore it the first time we made love, I wore it the first time I was pregnant, I wore it when I had the twins, I.....I have worn this ring so much it has been with me through everything. I want you to take it. Its special to me because the women who wore it took her life for her husband and I always wondered what it was like to love someone so much....Now I know." Mike kissed Alex one more time before stepping back and nodded, it was time to go.

Alex smiled and took the ring, sliding it on his finger. He wasn't going to tell Mike but he wasn't too fond of the idea that Mike had worn this ring during all of their special moments when Daffy had given it to him. But he knew this was not the time. Mike was trying to do something nice.
"Love you." Alex smiled and boarded the plane.

Mike shook his head, Daffy did give him the ring but they had been six years old. They didn't like eachother like that then and Mike only wore it because when he met Alex, he thought he might finally know what it felt like to love someone so much. Mike went back to the truck, rested his head on the siring wheel and cried.

Alex tried to stay strong on the plane at least. He felt like everyone was watching, waiting for him to show a sign of weakness.

Mike dried his eyes and went back home, getting ready to go to bed alone.

Part of Alex wished that he'd never gotten to go home at all. It only made it worse living without them again.

The next two weeks went by in a blur, Mike's belly getting bigger and bigger. Mike had a doctors appointment today that didn't go so well. Later that day Sydney gave birth. Alex Jr wrote.

Dear Daddy,

YYour daughter gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby girl. It is so precious, I sent pictures to you, they are in the envelope somewhere. Besides that momma went to the doctors, Im not sure what happen but he came out with tears in his eyes. I think he will tell you though. Love you.

Alex Riley Jr(He sent two pictures. One of just Sydney and the baby, one of all of them together with the baby.)

Dear Alex,

We have a grand child, she is beautiful. Looks just like her momma. Its healthy and oh so precious, we tapped the birth for you so don't worry. I went to the doctor's today. There are defiantly something wrong with either me or the child, they haven't said yet. All the love in the world. XOXO

Forever Yours
Mike Riley

Alex examined both pictures, they brought tears to his eyes. He wasn't there for Sydney like he promised he would be.
"Dear Alex,
That's wonderful. The little girl is so beautiful, she looks just like Sydney. I wish I could have been there. And don't worry your momma told me what was wrong.
All my love, Dad"

"Mike,
You seem to say that like it's not a big deal. But it is sweetheart. Please tell me whenever they tell you anything. I don't care how small or insignificant it is. Anyways, our grandchild is adorable. I cannot wait to get home and see her in person.
Love, Alex."

Alex sent his father the tap of Sydney's birth along with this letter.

Dear Dad,

I miss you, I can't believe in a few days you will have been gone only whole month. Already it feels like forever. I sent you the tap of Sydney's birth. I think something is wrong with momma's baby, he won't say but I just know somethings up. Im not stupid.

Love you daddy,
Your son
Alex Riley Jr

Dear Alex,

I love you, I miss you. The chances of the baby living are getting smaller every week, looks like I might lose us another one.

Forever yours,
Your Husband

Alex smiled at the tape.
"Alex,
Thank you for sending that. It really helped me get through some of the loneliness. I'm missing you like crazy. And I don't want to lie to you. There is something wrong with the baby. Momma just doesn't want to worry you. I found out by accident.
Love, Daddy"

Alex frowned at Mike's short letter. He sighed and began responding.
"Mike,
It's okay baby. We have two wonderful children. Sure, I'd love to have another but maybe it's for the best if it doesn't make it. I hate to say it but we're both getting pretty old. What if it wasn't self sufficient yet and we both died? God knows what he is doing. He'll do the right thing. If it's meant to be we will have that child Mikey.
All my love, Alex."

Alex Jr beamed as he read but then smile faded as he was assured there was indeed something wrong.

Dear Dad,

I don't doubt it was by accident, Momma is so...Mommaish, he doesn't want to worry anyone so he thinks its best if he deals with it on his own. I know there is a BIG problem but I have no idea what, momma refused to let me see the results and he is starting to seem sick.

Your Baby Boy
Alex Riley Jr

Mike had gotten some test results back, they were not good.

[i]Dear Sweet Heart,

I got the test results, its not the baby, its me. I have lung cancer baby, that's why I have been so tired lately. They only did this sort of test because I came in with some bruises that wouldn't go away and now they know why. They dont know about this baby, if I can or can't have it. They think if I try it might be deadly to me and the baby but there is not much they can do now. One way or the other we are okay down here and they are trying there best. I love you, XOXO

Your lover,
Mike(Inside the envelope were a copy of the test results.)

Alex read Mike's letter first, then his son's.

"Alex,
You're right. Something is wrong with momma. I'm not sure if I should tell you yet. But I will as soon as I'm sure you can handle it.
Love daddy."

Alex didn't have the energy to write more. His entire world stopped spinning when he heard Mike had cancer.
"Mike,
Please stop acting like it's not a big deal baby. It's driving me crazy that I can't be down there to be by your side. Sorry, this is short. I'm just... shocked I guess. Not really thinking straight. I'll write more next time.
Love Alex."

Alex frowned at his letter, he wanted answers and he wanted them now.
Dear Daddy,

I want to know what it wrong with my momma, he is getting sick it seems. The other day he stared at a picture or me you and Sydney all together and cried. What is wrong with him.

Love you,
Alex Riley Jr

Mike sent a picture with his letter, it was simply a picture of Him and the kids, he wasn't sure though because the picture was recent and he looked.........rough.

Dear Alex,

Its okay baby, I know your shocked, I am to. If I pretend I don't have to think about it and If I don't think about it I wont have to be afraid of dying before you come home, or killing the baby because of my disease. So im trying to pretend its okay, at least for the kids. Me and you know that its not but there is nothing we can do right now. I love you, be safe, I miss you...XOXO

Your(Cancerous) Husband
Mike

"Alex,
I know you're almost a grown man but there are still things you don't need to know. I'm sorry I can't but I just can't tell you at the moment. I love you.
Daddy."

"Mike,
Baby, Alex knows you aren't okay. He knows somethings wrong but I havent told him what it is yet. I don't think he should know just yet. Sorry it's short again, I need to go now. It's important. We're being attacked.
Love Alex."

Alex had to practically throw down the pen and paper as he grabbed his weapons and ran out of the tent.
The battle started as usual, gun shots ringing in his ears, bodies falling all around him. So far he'd been lucky. He hadn't gotten any serious injuries. Then out of nowhere a bullet came flying at him. He saw it coming. It seemed to happen in slow motion. And yet he couldn't move out of the way as it came flying, straight through his chest. The scream of agony sounded gargled as he fell to the ground clutching his chest. No one stopped to check on him. There were people getting shot everywhere. Then everything went black. He woke up in the infirmary. Bandages soaked with blood covered from under his arms to his thighs. It was sickening. There was hardly any white on them. All red.

Mike had woken up to the sound of someone knocking on the door, he hurriedly opened it to find to men dressed in uniform. One handed him a paper, the other sneered at him. The one who handed him the paper made the other leave before he told Mike he was sorry, his Husband was missing in action. They didn't know Alex was alive, they just knew that he did not come back. Mike stared at the man, shell shocked as he left, when the car drove away Mike fell to his knee's heart broken sobs exploding from his throat as he let out a blood curling scream.

Alex woke one time to a nurse fumbling with his bandages. It took all his energy but he managed to make a small groan causing her to look up at him.
"How are you feeling..." She flipped through her papers to find his name. "Mr. Riley?"
"Ugh." Was all he could grunt.
He felt as if he was dying.
"It's looking like you'll be okay. You're very lucky sir."
He raised a brow.
"If you hadn't jumped a bit when you were shot, the bullet would have hit you directly in the heart."
He nodded, he sure as hell didn't feel very lucky. But he knew he was. That bullet could have killed him.
He made a writing motion in the air.
She handed him a piece of paper and pen.
"This what you meant?"
He nodded and began writing.
"Mike,
I'm sorry if it's been a while since I've written. I don't know how long it's been to tell the truth. Could've been weeks for all I know. Well, it's happened. My first big injury. I was shot. Apparently, it could've killed me if I wouldn't have jumped slightly. I can't talk and I'm still in the infirmary. I don't have much energy but I had to let you know." He paused as the nurse removed a bandage. It had left a pretty large scar.
"Looks like there's gonna be a scar." He continued. "Anyway I should be back in action soon. Part of me wishes I would have gotten injured worse. Then they might have let me come home.
All my love, Alex."
He tapped the nurse on the shoulder.
"Yes hun?"
"Send this to my husband please." He wrote, followed by the address.
"Sure thing." She smiled and walked off with the letter.

Mike was in the hospital when the letter came. When they told him Alex was missing, probably dead, he lost the will to live. He was letting the cancer slowly kill him. Alex Jr got the letter, he cried happy tears that his father was alive before writing back, his writing ran together as the tears wet the ink and made it run.

Dear Daddy,

Your alive...they told us you were 'missing in action' and momma just....lost it. He has cancer, I know that now. He let go when those men came up here and told us, he stopped fighting it. Im going to tell him your alive as soon as he gets home, he is at Chemo right now, he almost wouldn't go but I cried so he did. He doesn't even want treatment anymore. He is going to lose his hair. I hate it, I want you home. I don't know how long I can do this, I cant keep thinking that at anytime someone could waltz over and tell us your gone. I want my daddy.

Your Son
Alex Riley Jr

Alex was still in the infirmary when the letter came. Tears filled his eyes.
"Alex,
Baby I wanna come home so bad. Make sure you tell your momma he better not give up. You tell him I said that. I'm so tempted to get really injured so they have to let me come home but I don't want to chance it. Tell your momma I'm okay the second you can. And tell him to write to me. I miss him. I love you so much Alex. I'm sorry I'm worrying you all.
Love, Daddy."

Dear Daddy,

I told him, he went to his room and I hear a few curses and some glass breaking. He hasn't come out yet. I he will write to you but give him a bit, he is getting weaker, its a chore to get up and walk, really move much at all for him but I know he will. I don't want you to be hurt anymore daddy, what if you die? Momma wouldn't be able to take it and I would be alone...I'm sorry I sound so childish but damnit I want my daddy. I miss you and I love you.

Your Son
Alex Riley Jr.

Mike wrote slowly, choking on sobs as tears blurred his vision.

Dear Sweetheart,

They said you were gone pretty much, im sorry. I couldn't handle it but since I know your still out there im fighting again. I found hair on my pillow today, I hear you were shot(Tear drops wet the paper) I want you home. You can't die on me, I can't do this without you. I need you, I love you, I miss you XOXO

Your (Cancerous) Husband
Mike Mizanin Riley

"Alex,
It's okay. You don't sound childish. It's normal for you to miss me. I miss you too. I think they might be letting me come home for a while to recover. I'll let you know tomorrow.
Love, Daddy."

"Mike,
Yes I was shot. Not gonna lie, it hurts. There's gonna be a scar, there's a small hole. It feels so weird. But I think they are going to let me come home for a while. Maybe a week or two. I'll let you know for sure tomorrow. Feel better.
All my love, Alex."

Alex waited for his fathers next letter, he couldn't find anything to say, he was just so hopeful, he prayed every day and night for his father tom come home. Mike wanted to reply, but he had just come from Chemo and he didn't have the strength, he went into his room and laid down, crying hoping to God Alex was coming home to him.

After a bit of debating, Alex was allowed to go home for a few weeks while he recovered. He decided to make it a surprise and got on the plane home.

Mike was back at Chemo again, Alex was home and Sydney had gone to take he baby to the park. Alex was up in his room, going through some pictures as he felt the tears well up in his blue eyes. He had his mothers eyes but he really didn't cry much but this was becoming to much to bear. He was scared, he didn't want to lose him Momma or his daddy.

Alex was soon home. He walked to the door eagerly. He softly knocked, hoping someone was home.