If You're Reading This

Mike let out a small giggle at his husband. Alex had such a dirty mind, he wondered how he could even have a wet dream about them together with Mike looking like this.

"Mmm. Chris!" He screamed, back arching up in his sleep. It was as if all the pleasure was real.

Mike's face fell as his heart shattered. He had been wrong, no one could think of him in a sexual way not even his husband, Alex was having a wet dream about Chris. Mike grit his teeth and got out of the bed He took a blanket and a pillow and went into the living room to sleep on the couch. He decided then and there he was done fighting. Mike buried his head in the pillow and screamed.

Sydney walked into the room and saw her mother there.
She set her daughter down and walked over to him.
"M-momma, what's wrong?"

Mike quickly wiped his eyes as good as he could and begged God that his daughter would leave. "N-nothing baby." He smiled and kissed her cheek. "Why don't you go back to bed?"

"You were cryin' Momma I'm almost seventeen now. I'm not stupid."

"I know your not. But right now I need to be alone so please." Mike pleaded. "Go back to bed."

Sydney ignored him and sat down on the arm of the couch, stroking her mother's hair.

Mike didn't enjoy people touching his now bald head. Mike took his daughters hand from the top of his head. "Baby,im just having a hard time wright now with the cancer and all. Can you please leave me be for a little bit?"

"Momma I want to be with you... I know you might only have a little time left.."

"Oh Baby," Mike sighed and looked at his daughter. "Im sorry. Its just difficult to deal with." Mike put an arm around his daughter.

"It's okay momma... I just don't want you to leave. Me and Alex will be all alone with daddy at war. And no one to help me raise Carrie." That was what she had decided to name the child.

"Sweet heart....If anything happens you will have Critter. And your father with probably bring some one home to replace me." His heart shriveled up and his stomach churned as he thought of Chris taking his place and he wasn't even dead yet but that would soon be fixed.

Sydney shook her head. She knew her father better than Alex and Mike.
"He'll never replace you."

"Really?" Mike's voice was colder than usual. "That not what it sounds like." He shook his head. "Look baby im so sorry but.....im so tired of fighting this.' He was going to let the cancer kill him.

"N-no!" Sydney shouted, lip trembling. Baby blue eyes filling with tears. "Momma you can't stop trying."

Mike sighed. "Baby..its hurting me." He didn't want to leave his children either, they were precious to.

Sydney stayed silent, tears pouring down her cheeks and falling to the ground.

"Baby im so sorry." He weakly pulled her to his chest. "You know I love you but this..........." Mike closed his eyes and sighed. "Its slowly killing me anyways and I would be saving myself pain if I just stopped trying."

Alex woke up and walked downstairs wondering why Mike wasn't in bed.
He didn't eeven remember what he'd been dreaming about.

Mike hadn't slept any. He was to upset and Alex had the nerve to say he loved him like he loved Alex. Mike had never had a dream with anyone but Alex in it like that. Critter had already called, he had chemo every day but he was NOT going.

"Hey darlin' why'd ya come down here?" Alex frowned kissing his husband's forehad.

Mike frowned and moved away. "Please don't touch me." He was about to have a fight with Critter because the man couldn't take no for an answer he was hell bent on Mike going. He didn't feel like having one with Alex too.

Alex frowned, kneeling down beside him.
"What's wrong baby?"

"Im not going to Chemo and don't bother me." He was not in a good mood and Alex could piss off, he had lied to him all night about how he didn't want anyone else and it hurt.