If You're Reading This

Alex sighed.
"Now Mike. You know that's not fair. I asked you to do the same if i died. You refused. You said you wouldn't even try. I told Critter I'll try to make it for a little. But I'm not going to be able for long."

"I know its not but Alex, you have a better head on your shoulders than I do. You are so much more stable. I never said I was being fair, but I wont be able to die in piece thinking of what you might do."

"I'm willing to try but I'm telling you right now. I'm not going to be able to for long."

"Why not?" Mike didn't know what to do. He couldn't let Alex throw his life away because Mike might be losing his.

Why did Mike even have to ask that?
"Because I love you! I love you just as much as you love me!"

Mike shook his head. "Thats impossible baby." And to Mike it really was, there was no love greater than what he felt for Alex.

"I love you more than anything. It really hurts that you think I don't."

"I didn't say I think you don't. Just not as much as I love you. Nobody could love anything like I love you."

"Well I do love you that much. Why can't you believe that?" Alex sighed.

"Alex, baby.....Don't take it like that." Mike licked his lips. "I know you love me but its just that, it just don't seem like anything measures up to how much I love you. Hell, I would die, anything just to make you happy, to see you smile."

"It's the same with me sweety. Why can't you just see that?" Alex sighed.

Mike smiled and just laid down. he sat a hand on his pregnant belly, he knew better than to think anything could be loved as much as Alex was. It was okay if he loved Alex more, he couldn't help it.

"You still don't believe me." Alex sighed laying down beside his husband.

"Stop sighing." Mike looked at his husband. "They said it was a girl." Mike wanted to change the subject.

"Great, you gonna love the kid more than I do too?" Alex said srcastically. Although he was excited.

That had hurt and it hurt bad. Mike got up and pretended to be sick just so he could get away from his lover.

Alex knew his husband very well.
He sighed and followed him.
"I'm sorry Mike."

"Alex just go spend time with your son, I don't feel very well right now." Mike sat on the edge on the tub, clutching his stomach and blinking the tears away.

"Baby, I know you're lying. I upset you." Alex said softly, rubbing Mike's shoulders.

"Alex, im sick okay. I don't feel good and I don't want an apology baby please." Mike ran a hand over his head and what hair remain, when he pulled his hair back a clump of hair came back with it. Mike let the hair go and put a hand over his face. "Alex baby please go now." Mike said shakily.

Alex fought back tears.
"Baby, I'm not going to leave you alone."

"Just for a few minutes." Mike paused as he heard the door open and Sydney's voice. "Your daughters home, go see her."

Alex sighed again but he did want to see his grandchild.
"I'll be right back."

Mike got up and shut the door behind him. Mike then proceeded to cry so hard he DID make himself sick. Mike started dry heaving, he had no food left to throw up and a little bit of stomach acid.

Alex walked downstairs where he was tackled by a hug from his daughter. He was introduced to his grandchild and even got to hold her a bit.