If You're Reading This

"I love you to Alex, and im sorry this is what you had to come home to. I know its not pleasant."

"Don't apologize darling. the only thing I'm worried about is you leavin me..." He sighed.

Mike weakly intertwined their fingers. "Im trying not to baby.....you know I am." talking was even a chore now. It was always like this after chemo. Tears pricked his eyes at the thought of leaving Alex.

"I know you're trying baby. I just worry. You know how I am."

"Yeah but you have a very big reason to worry this time." The truth was that some times even Mike thought it was over. Alex Jr pulled into there drive way and parked his truck, turning it off.

Alex carried his husband inside and into their bedroom.
"GEt your rest baby."

Mike nodded and curled up and his side, he cover himself up and waited for Alex to leave.

Instead, Alex laid down beside him, wrapping him up in his arms.

"Alex.....im used to being alone and Sydney and the baby will be home soon." one of Mike's arms rested over Alex's "Go spend time with them."

"I will when she gets here." Alex smiled and kissed Mike's forehead, not moving.

"I missed you...." Mike said before he groaned in pain, clutching his stomach.

"I missed you too baby. So much." Alex held Mike closer and noticed how cold he was.
"Sweety you're freezing." He took off his shirt and slid it on Mike, revealing his bandages.

Mike blinked back tears as he laid eyes on the bandages. Mike tentatively brought a hand up to let his finger ghost over the red part of the bandage. "Oh, Alex." Mike cried as he kissed the bandage.

Alex winced slightly.
"Don't worry about me Mike. You have cancer. I'll be fine."

"S-So! I didn't almost die." Mike looked up at Alex as he caressed his cheek. "What if I lost you?"

"Well the point is I'm fine now. You are not."

Mike frowned. "But.....your hurt." That was more important to Mike than his own illness.

"Yes I am. Not gonna lie. But I'm not going to die. I hate to say it but you could Mikey."

Mike looked away, at the moment it felt like he WAS dying instead of could be. He didn't want to leave Alex.

"I love you Mike." Alex said so softly he doubted Mike could hear him.

"I don't want to die....but it feels like I am." Mike bit his lip. It was hard to admit and he didn't want to scare Alex.

Alex sighed.
"I know baby." He said holding back the tears trying to force their way out.

"I-I don't want to scare you but....if I do pass away." Mike was trying to force the words out, they were stuck in his throat.

Alex closed his eyes at the words, not letting the tears out.

"I know its not fair to ask this of you when its something I couldn't do but please....go on living for the kids, and your grand child. And know that I love you more than anything in this world. You are the most precious thing I have ever know and......I just love you and im scared and....If you can I want you to find love again maybe call Chris up, I know you and him were close." Mike took a shaky breath. "And just know that even if it meant dying of this disease I would let it eat me alive if I could only stay with you."