If You're Reading This

"Mike all I need is this. Right here. Being in your arms. Just laying beside you is enough."

"B-But....Im to weak for you to make love to me...im sorry." Mike drug a hand across his face. "I-I really wouldn't blame you if you wanted someone else."

"Mike, how many times do I have to say it. I. DONT. WANT. ANYONE. ELSE."

"B-B what good am I to you? All I can do is be sick and hurt you? Why not? I-I want you to be happy." Mike held Alex to him, he was so scared Alex would leave him right now but he wanted Alex to be happy.

"I am happy!" Alex said, contradicting himself by screaming the words.

Mike whimpered and put his hands over his face. That was not being happy, he was making Alex miserable.

"Mike the only reason I'm upset now is because you keep telling me to find someone else. Do you want me to leave?" He asked, cobalt blue eyes filling with tears as he considered that.

"N-No, Im scared a-and im always l-lonely and I-I'm afraid im d-dying and I-I have missed you and I-I want you here." Mike wrapped his arms back around Alex and held on tight.

"Then why keep telling me to g-go?" Alex whimpered, lip trembling.

"B-Because I'm miserable and I don't want you to be too...." Mike answered quietly. Mike was miserable because of the pain of the cancer, Alex was the only thing that kept him hanging on. Alex made him want to live so he could continue to be happy with his husband.

"When I'm home with you is the only time I'm not miserable Mikey." Alex said honestly.

Mike sniffled. "I-I don't want you to go back." His voice wavered and cracked.

"I can stay here a while. Maybe a month if I'm lucky." Alex gave a half hearted smile.

Mike lowered his head. "Wh-What it the worst does happen and I-I.....I die." Mike swallowed. "And your n-not here." Mike didn't want to die alone.

"I... don't know." Alex shook his head voice cracking slightly.

Mike looked away. He didn't want to die and he especially didn't want to die alone.

Alex sighed and pulled Mike into his lap. He wanted to kiss him so bad. Make love to him. Hold him tight. But he was far too fragile. A single touch had Alex in fear of him breaking.

Mike stared up at Alex. He didn't feel to good, his stomach hurt and his insides burned and ached. But even so, Mike wanted Alex to love him, to hold him, to kiss him, even make love to him if he knew it wouldn't break him.

Alex kissed his husband's forehead softly.
"I love you baby." He whispered.

"I love you too...." Mike was so scared and he hurt so bad. If it wasn't for Alex he would be dead by now. Mike sat a hand on his pregnant belly. He and the kid were probably both going to die.

Alex sighed and let his eyes slide shut. He fell asleep so he wouldn't have to think of everything.

Mike stayed awake just to watch his lover sleep. He made sure to memorize every line and crease in Alex's face. Evey wrinkle and freckle, just everything.

The first smile in weeks appeared on Alex's face at the thoughts running through his mind.

Mike smiled to, he was so happy to see his lover smiling. He kissed Alex's cheek, so grateful Alex wanted him even though he was sick.

However it wasn't Mike in Alex's mind.
A small grunt and moan escaped his lips as in his mind Chris plunged ball deep inside him.