If You're Reading This

Alex simply closed his eyes. He was afraid that if he opened them his tears would flood the room.

Critter looked down and the dead new born sadly, it was a beautiful baby. It had Alex's eyes, Mike's lips.

"She's so beautiful." He murmured. He shook his head in denial. No, his baby wasn't dead.

Critter's thumb rubbed its cheek. "Mike's cheeks.....your nose.....your eyes.....Mike's lips....." The child was really beautiful.

"I can't look at it anymore Critter. It's too hard." Alex cried.

Critter sighed and had them take the baby away before he pulled Alex into a hug. He hated this for him, he knew Alex had wanted the baby so bad.

Alex let out a broken sob into Critter's shoulder. He wanted Mike.

"Shhhhhh." Critter cooed and in the back of his mind he wondered where in the hell Mike was and if he was okay.

"Wh-where's Mike?" Alex cried. He wanted his husband and he didn't care that he sounded like a five year old looking for their mother.

Critter held him tighter. "Give me a minute and i'll go ask, I imagine they are sewing him up." Critter wiped Alex's tears away before he went to find a nurse who told him they were still in surgery with Mike and they could see him later. Critter went back to Alex. "Later....he is still in surgery." Which wasn't good, his body was to weak for it.

Alex cursed under his breath. He wanted Mike and he wanted him now.
He was this close to throwing a temper tantrum.

"I don't think they will let us back while they are...working on him." Critter observed, looking back into the rooms.

"I know." He wasn't stupid. He knew as much as he wanted to see Mike, the doctors didn't give a damn.

Critter put an arm around Alex. "Want to sit down?" He was going to try and calm Alex a little before he seen Mike because he just knew Mike was not going to be an okay person.

"He risked his life to have that kid. And it was all for n-nothing!"

Critter closed his eyes, he knew that but hearing it said aloud made it sting. He loved Mike like a brother and to think he could of died having the kid. "And all the pain it caused him...."

"You didn't see him the other day. The baby was kicking. And it was hurting him so bad." Alex bit his lip hard.

"Yeah but I watched him last night. I was miserable just by the look on his face and the tears that rained down his cheeks. All he could do was whimper and scream and cry and call for you to make it stop." He sighed. "Watching that was worse than alot of the things I seen in the army."

"He was calling for me?" Alex asked, then sighed. "Sometimes I hate how sensitive he is. I gotta watch myself constantly. But then other times it's my favorite quality of his. Shows how sweet he is. Innocent."

Critter chuckled. "I know. But really its only you that he cares about. I could say he is ugly and he would believe me but he would tell me to shut the fuck up because he has cancer and he can't help it. But with you its just a need to be...perfect so you will love him and he is just so sensitive to what you do and say because that's what really hits home with him, you. And he has always been sweet and innocent, loving and caring, always putting someone else before himself and there are so many things wrong with him." Critter shook his head. "And yeah, he called for you. As far as he was concerned you were probably busy with Chris but he wanted and need you to make the pain stop."

"I didn't touch Chris." Alex sighed. "Can you believe that please?"

"Sure I can. Its obvious you love him or else you wouldn't still be here. He is a handful without meaning to be.

"I'm gonna be honest with you Critter. Chris kissed me. But I stopped him right away. I threw him out. I want to tell Mike. But I just don't want to risk him not believing me..."

"Alex, he hangs on every word that comes out of your mouth. I think he will but it will hurt him to think you didn't believe him when he told you what Chris had done when you left the door earlier."
Critter sighed. "The Miz came out because Mike was so scared what Chris was saying was true and he even has a hand print on his cheek. I know I left marks but he was sort of wanting that. He was provoking me and I wouldn't hit him without know I wouldn't hurt him usually. But I believe everything Mike told me Chris said and he said some pretty hard things. It hurt Mike and then you let him or Miz leave. It was hell trying to calm him down. Hell even 'The Miz' was crying."

Alex took a deep breath. He wasn't sure he wanted to know but he had to ask.
"Critter, what did Chris say to Mike?" He really didn't want to think his friend for all those years was upsetting his husband.