How You Remind Me

"I-I can't hate y-you....I-I fucking wish I-I could but I l-love you to m-much to ever hate y-you." Mike choked out, his head in his hands as he sobbed into them.

"I deserve to be hated.... All I've ever done is cause you pain. Maybe... maybe Daffy is better for you." The words were painful for him to say. He knew it wasn't fair that he could move on and Mike couldn't, but the thought of Mike with Daffy made him sick.

"T-Thats the thing. I-I love you so much I can n-never move on. I-I wasn't lying."

"Mike, I'll never be able to fully move on either. There's a part of my heart that Lane cannot touch. We've discussed this. There's a part of me that is forever yours."

"Not like it matters. Your not mine anymore, you his."
Mike spat that last part like it made him sick.
"You love him more.....So now, i'm simply falling in the black, slipping through the cracks.....falling to the depths...I cant ever get back, dreaming of the way it used to me....and no one can hear me scream."

"Darling.. you wanted this remember? You told him to love me..." Alex said softly, his heart ached at Mike's words.

-"Yeah I0I did....but I didn't think you would love him m-more. I didn't think I would be f-forgotten....I know im begin -sbut....." Mike shook his head.
"I-I need to go. I wont b-bother you anymore"

"Baby please, I can't deal with you not visiting anymore..." Alex sighed. He had wanted Mike to be at the wedding but he knew that wasn't fair to ask of him.

"I-I can't watch you love him so m-much Alex....it fucking h-hurts. Im overjoyed your happy b-but it hurts so I-I just......"

"Then what if we set certain times. I'm sure lane will understand. I'll have him leave the room or house or whatever. Or we can go somewhere and just talk Mike. Please. I miss you."

"Is that fair to h-him? Alex, I-I know Lane, he will let it h-happen but it will sting a bit but he will tell you he u-understands and he does but its not f-fair."

"It's not like I'd be cheating on him. I just... need you in my life. Whether it's as my lover or not. I'm find with just talking to you.

Mike's head stayed down. He didn't want to be Alex friend, he didn't want Alex to love some one more than him. But like he always said, Alex doesn't love him like he loves Alex.

Alex blinked back more tears. He'd fucked up. It was so hard to not think he had made the wrong choice. The only thing that made him know he was right was looking at Lane and right now there was no Lane.

Mike was doomed to stay in the room forever. He would stay here in the dark and remember when Alex loved him as the darkness surrounds him as it always did.

"P-please." Was all Alex could say. He didn't want to lose Mike altogether. He needed Lane. He needed Lane's arms around him. And he felt awful for thinking of that when Mike was bawling his eyes out beside him.

"S-Stop it......you have someone who will h-hold you and make everything okay. I-I don't anymore. Im a-alone...."

"F-fine... I love you." Alex stood. "G'bye. Please come visit some time." Alex kissed the top of his head and exited the room. He couldn't do that anymore.

Mike watched him go before getting back into position as the darkness grew closer. Minutes later, the screaming began.

Alex walked back down to Lane, still waiting for him as he had asked.
Alex gave him a small smile, attempting to wipe away the tears.

"Hey Boo. What were you doing?" He questioned as he stood up to take his lovers hand.

Alex squeezed his hand.
"Nothing big... just talking to someone..."

Critter smiled knowingly as he held his fiance's hand.
"The cancer ghost?"

Alex nodded slowly.
"H-how'd you know?"

"I heard them talking about the ghost and I just knew." He shrugged.
"Didn't go too well did it?"