What Next?

Mike got up and picked up his phone. He called Maryse for the first time in a long time.
"Its Mike..."
"I know and I stand by that. I just..."
"Yeah he's asleep.."
"I can't, I had a nightmare..."
"My uncle."
"I don't even know anymore."
"I want to be able to lay with him and snuggle him but....Maryse you know..."
"I hate it, he deserves so much better and I can't just magically change."
He got silent.
"I bet Rosa would cuddle him....."
"I know, I jus-"
"Yes I do.."
"Okay....Love ya, thanks.."
Mike shut his phone and stared at it. No one ever touched his phone beside him, no one would see his screen saver was a picture of Zack he had taken while he was asleep.

Zack sighed as he rolled over in bed. He'd been tossing and turning for a while lately. Screw it.
He stood, he was not going to be able to sleep. He simply sat up in bed and grabbed his phone.
"You up?" He texted his friend Caylen.
"Yeah... now."
"Sorry..."
"No big. Trent's been tryin to get me up for a while. He's hyper."
"... you guys sleep in the same bed right?"
"Yeah, we did that even before we started dating."
Zack sighed and didn't respond.
"Mike don't want to sleep with you?" Caylen texted after he got no response.
"Yeah... I know it's not his fault. He's not a touchy person, I just can't sleep without him holding me. Got too attached at the hospital."
"Zack, I'd hold ya but I think Mike would kill me."
"Yeah, that's not the wisest thing to do. And it wouldn't be the same."
"Well anything I can do?"
"Just keep texting me? I can't sit here and keep thinking about what could be wrong with me that makes him not want to sleep with me."
"Sure thing bro."

Mike was up all night. He was tried but by eight the next morning he stopped trying. He simply sat up and leaned against the had bored of Zack's bed.

Zack was still texting Caylen. Caylen had kept texting like he said he would, every so often passing the phone over to Trent. They slept in shifts so one of them was keeping their friend company at all times.
"Sorry I'm so whiny today." Zack said.
"Don't worry bout it. I'd be whiny if Trent wouldn't cuddle, I understand."
"Well I think Mike's up. I'll text again if I get bored. Thanks again. Tell Trent thanks too when he wakes up."
"No prob. Good luck with Mike."

Mike as still looking at the screen saver of his phone. Maryse at text him once to see if he was okay but Mike didn't answer, he was bothered by his inability to sleep with Zack.

"You awake?" Zack asked softly although it was pretty obvious he was.

Mike slowly looked up.
"Yeah Zack...."
Mike stood up and walked over to sit beside Zack.

Zack set his phone down and crossed his legs. He looked down in his lap, not knowing what to do.

Mike wanted to sit in his lap but he was still very distant, he didn't like alot of touch.
"So....how did you sleep babe?"

"I didn't." Zack sighed. There were large dark circles under his eyes.

Mike sighed and took a deep breath. He had to love Zack or else Rosa really would have him back. Mike moved to sit in Zack's lap. He let his thumb caress Zack's cheek bones ans he kissed his eye lids.
"Im sorry Zack."

"It's alright baby. It's fine." Zack yawned as he kissed Mike's cheek.

"Take a nap...."
Mike sighed and pushed Zack down onto the bed.

"I'm not tired." Zack lied. "And even if I tried I wouldn't be able to."

"Why not? You need your rest Zachary."
Mike was still in charge.

"I don't know. I just can't sleep. Couldn't all night.." Zack said softly.

"Well you were asleep when I left....."
It was Mike's fault.

"I woke up." Zack shrugged. He wasn't going to make Mike feel bad for waking him up.

But Mike did, Mike was not stupid.
"I woke you up? You got to used to sleeping with me." He sighed and kissed Zack's forehead.

Zack sighed.
"Well, yeah. But it's fine. You're not a touchy person."

"No I'm not. But I need to be for you...."
He was going to have to change.

"Mike I can't ask you to change who you are. I need to stop being so clingy."

"Zack.....im trying for you, I really am." Mike sighed, he wasn't that tired he suffered from insomnia alot.

"I'm not asking you to try." Zack sighed. "I don't want to force you. When and IF you cuddle with me I want it to be cause you want to. I don't want you to just sit there and hold me so I'll quit whining."

"Zack, look here. I love you, you are the first...the only person..I have ever let hold me or cuddle me, the only person I would hold like I did last night. I want to, I want to be able to love you but......You don't know how it is with me. My father and my uncle ruined me....." Mike sighed, he didn't like being open liken this.