Listen To The Thunder

"But I do regret it." Alex shook his head.
He wanted to regret every kiss. Every touch. Every 'I love you.' Every time Lane called him Boo.
He wanted to.
But he couldn't...

Mike gave a sift sigh and shook his head.
"No, you don't regret it....You don't need to either."

"I regret leaving you for him." Alex said truthfully as he shook his head sadly.

"And I regret hitting Kevin. But we cant change it. Either way you have me now...im all yours."

"Yes but it'll never be the same. You'll never believe me as much as you used to..."

"You don't know that baby, I might one day, its just hard, especially when I know you'd be better off with Lane."

"But I want you." Alex said softly. "Or else I would still be with him."

"But you need someone better Alex." Mike smiled bitterly and kissed his lovers temple.

"You're the best I could ever ask for Mike." Alex sighed.

"No Lane is the best you could ever ask for. I was just the first one to come along, had you meet him first you wouldn't have looked twice at me.

"Mike baby you know thats not true..." Alex frowned.
But somewhere deep down it probably was...

"No Alex. Its true and you know its true. You should just go back to him and leave me, you know you want to." Mike clenched his jaw.

Alex took Mike's face in his hands.
"I want no such thing. What I WANT is for you to stop being an ass and loveme." He kissed Mike's lips firmly.

Mike let Alex kiss him but did nothing else. He was always an ass, a bitter, selfish asshole.

Alex let Mike go and shook his head.
"Goddamnit Mike." He drug a hand across his face as he finally let a few tears fall. Okay, maybe more than a few. "I'm trying! I'm trying to apologize! I'm trying to make up for what I did to you! I'm SORRY!"

Mike cursed and hugged Alex to his chest.
"Shhhhh baby its fine, your sorry, I know...Your always so quick to say sorry just to make me feel better, even where there is nothing to be sorry for." Mike cooed as he rocked his lover back and forth.

"Mike DAMNIT! Let go of me!" He gently pushed away from Mike. "I do have to be sorry!" He screamed as his body racked with sobs. He hadn't cried like this in so long. "STOP COMFORTING ME! I don't fucking deserve it!" He rubbed at his eyes in a pitiful attempt to stop the tears.

"Look here, Don't push me." Mike snapped as he pulled Alex back to his chest, gently pressing him there. "You have NOT A DAMN THING to be sorry for. I am comforting you because you are my husband and I love you more than anybody loves anything, I guarantee my love for you is greater so I will NOT let you cry like that alone." Mike cooed firmly, his fingers carding through Alex's hair.

Alex simply sat there, willing the tears to go away.
"Why do you love me?" He asked.

"Oh God Alex, we will be out here all night. I will never be able to explain every little reason, every little thing you do that makes me love you more and more...makes me fall for you over and over again." Mike held him tightly.

"Mike damnit all I do is hurt you. I'm an asshole. I'm the worst husband on the planet and yet I get the best."

"Alex Riley you hush up. You are the only reason I lived, I would have died at the age fir twenty five if not for you. You are the best husband in the world. You are always strong for me, always worrying about me. You protect me and you make me so fucking happy its surreal. And no you don't, if you did you would be with your clone or Lane." Mike rubbed his back soothingly.

Alex sighed as he rested his forehead on Mike's shoulder.
"I'm so sorry."

"Alex, what in the fuck are you sorry for...Are sorry for making me happy? Sorry for wasting some sixty years with me, telling me you love me, kissing me? Touching me? Do you regret four kids and one almost two grand children?....Do you regret me?" Mike was scared of the answer.

"MIKE MIZANIN RILEY!" Alex pulled back and stared at Mike incredulously. "NO! I'M SORRY FOR HURTING YOU! I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING BAD I'VE EVER DONE! NOT THAT!"