He Will Be Loved

Rick nodded.
"Mike... I wanna be his daddy... do you think Kevin would leave...?"

"I.....Dont know.....I think Alex would leave me if I kept Aaron...I know he would. He and Kevin are so much alike...." He sighed softly.

Rick sighed softly, frowning at his sleeping husband.
"I love him so much but... I won't abandon that baby..."

"So.....You and Kevin are done if he dont want it?" Mike asked softly, cocking his head to the side

"I... no.... Mike... I don't know. Help me. Please. You've been in my shoes before."

"And look at me Rick...Im fucking miserable....I love my babies and im not in their life....Aaron looks at me as the stranger who deserted him, the momma who didnt want him and Dewayne feels unwanted....I fucking love Alex to much to let him go though even though he hurts me so much....Im not what you need to go bye..."

Rick sighed.
"Then what do I go by damnit?" He drug a hand through his hair. "I have no clue what to do..."

Mike sighed.
"Baby.....Alex.....I dont think Alex loves me enough to deal with it....He...No..." Mike looked over at him miserably. "But Kevin is different.... Like me....He will let you but he wont watch....I think...."

"Mikey... Momma... Alex does too love you enough..." Rik sighed.

"No baby.....He cant do that for me.....I try and do anything for him...Hell I fucking saw Lane the other day and I SMILED at the son of a bitch...."

"You're fucking amazing..." Rick shook his head. "I honestly think you are the most amazing man ever..."

Mike smiled softly.
"Thank you baby.....Thats sweet...But I think your most amazing man Is Kevin...."
Mike was no where NEAR amazing.

"Kevin is amazing, he is. I don't love you as more than my mother but Mike you are fucking perfect. I wish I could be as good of a husband as you are..."

Mike gave a hollow laugh.
"I am NOT a good husband. My husband cheated on me, he fell in love with another man and now I bother him so much he is just....I dont know im.....not worth his time, I think he is with me because he feel bad. I am.....I am a shitty husband and mother, I have no Idea why I still try...." He shrugged.

"Mike, that makes him the bad husband not you. I mean I'm not saying that he is one, but that sure as hell does not make you one... You are amazing Mike. I just... you cook, clean, play doctor for all of us... you love Alex so damn much. You'll do ANYTHING for him and I just wish I was as perfect as you..."

"Rick baby......If I was good enough...If I was a good enough husband for him, then he would not have left me, would not have cheated on me. He would not have hit me....If I was a good husband...He wouldnt give me those looks, the ones like im weird...like im wrong...."

"Mike no.... is that really how you feel?" Rick blinked at him. How could Mike think that? He was fucking perfect...

Mike looked away, at Alex and Kevin.
"Yeah....Its....You know...I heard Alex tell Lane that maybe the only reason we met was to get them together...How can I compete with that? Im not....im fucked up..."

"Mike I don't know why or how Alex said that but if he ever leaves you again... you gotta find someone. I know you love him more than anything and I... I love that. It's just... that is how I define love. But you can't let him control you..."

"Rick....I can't stop it...Baby he has fucking broken me down and im his toy....." He shook his head, hell How was Alex the one to leave but the one pissed and jealous when Mike tried to get someone else...even when he didnt want them.

Rick sighed.
"Mike... do you even love him anymore? You're... you're sounding like you don't..."

"Rick baby....I love him more than it is possible to love anything. I always will and thats why im here...If I didnt love him...I would have my pick of alot of guys but I dont want them...I dont love them....I love Alex..."

"You're just making it sound like you aren't happy here Mike..." Rick sighed. "Like he's keeping you here against your will or something."

"I-Im sorry...."
Mike sounded like a scolded child.
"I-I dont mean it like that....thats not it at all....."
He was just depressed and he felt like he wasnt worth fuck...Wait yeah he was, thats all he was worth.

"Mike you... god, what can I say to make you feel as perfect as you are?" Rick sighed.