Re: Just A Number..

by **Zac McGuire** Sun Feb 20, 2011 12:46 am

"Don't what? Shave?" Rick raised an eyebrow, kissing Kevin's cheek.

by **Mike Mizanin** Sun Feb 20, 2011 12:47 am

Mike nodded.
"And I need you to sleep for him so...night."
Mike curled up.

by **Zac McGuire** Sun Feb 20, 2011 12:52 am

"Wait now I'm confused? Why can't I shave my head? It's upsetting me...."

by **Mike Mizanin** Sun Feb 20, 2011 12:54 am

"Because baby,I did that and....it shows how sick you are and I know when he sees that it will make him crazy and it might hurt you too, it bothered me..."

by **Zac McGuire** Sun Feb 20, 2011 12:57 am

Rick sighed.
"But momma.... you read in my journal. I can't take it. Those clumps of hair on my pillow in the morning..."

by **Mike Mizanin** Sun Feb 20, 2011 12:59 am

Mike sighed but nodded.
"Okay baby, if thats what you want." He kissed his cheek.

by **Zac McGuire** Sun Feb 20, 2011 1:02 am

He sighed.
"I won't if it'll upset Kevin more..." Kevin always came first...

by **Mike Mizanin** Sun Feb 20, 2011 1:03 am

"Rick baby, Kevin will be fine with it, he will be to sick to notice." He sighed softly.

by **Zac McGuire** Sun Feb 20, 2011 1:07 am

Rick sighed softly.
"Okay..."
He was the one with cancer but he still had to be the strong one...

by **Mike Mizanin** Sun Feb 20, 2011 1:11 am

Mike sat up and pulled Rick into his lap.
"Baby...He wants to be strong....But until he can be ill be strong for you."

by **Zac McGuire** Sun Feb 20, 2011 1:15 am

"Mike I'm fine." He didn't want babied but all the extra stress didn't help him...

by **Mike Mizanin** Sun Feb 20, 2011 1:17 am

"Rick, im your momma, imma baby you and be strong for you because thats what mommas do so its okay baby." He kissed his cheek.

by **Zac McGuire** Sun Feb 20, 2011 1:22 am

"Momma.... I, I don't like being babied. I never wanted that but this... even though I'm sick... I still gotta be strong for him. I gotta be the one holding his hand, making sure he's okay even though I could use that myself..."

by **Mike Mizanin** Sun Feb 20, 2011 1:24 am

"Hey Rick, you just wait, he is going to be good for you, has he need been good since you got this?"

by **Zac McGuire** Sun Feb 20, 2011 1:30 am

"Yes but Mmomma... It's getting worse. I can fucking feel it. I feel like shit. I barely have the energy to get out of bed anymore... I haven't in a while but, I've been putting on a smile the best I can. I don't whine or complain. And I certainly can't know. He's sick. I have to comfort him, take care for him...."

by **Mike Mizanin** Sun Feb 20, 2011 1:32 am

"Oh baby....I think your dying......"
Mike looked him in the eyes.
Kevin had just opened his but since Rick was turned away from him he couldn't see.

by **Zac McGuire** Sun Feb 20, 2011 1:40 am

"Its awful momma." Rick covered his face, putting his head in his hands. "Every fucking second I'm in agonizing pain." And yet he never said a word about it. "I'm fighting so hard and its not doing shit." But he had to hold Kevin's hand. Be at Kevin's side when he truly needed someone at his own. "It's almost impossible now. It's getting worse. So difficult to act like nothings wrong. To laugh and joke around. Keep that damn smile plastered on... Everyone just says 'oh, Rick's tough. He must be doing just fine.' No. Kevin's sick too. I need to be strong for him. But its not easy. No one sees through my smile and I'm grateful for that." But sometimes it felt like no one cared enough to notice.... "But no,damnit,I'm not fine, I'm fucking dying." By the time he finished you could hear him crying.

by **Mike Mizanin** Sun Feb 20, 2011 1:43 am

Mike cradled Rick tightly.
"Baby you think I don't know? I don't see? I do but you are so stubborn, I was waiting for you to be ready to just let go and let it happen. Kevin knows too Rick, he knows what a real smile looks like but eh never says anything because you will deny it, say you gotta be this and that when you don't. I want you to let it go....You will die and it will be okay."

by **Zac McGuire** Sun Feb 20, 2011 1:46 am

"I can't let go damnit. I DO have to stay strong. It doesn't matter what I want or what I need, Kevin is sick!" Rick shook with silent sobs. He was finally letting it all out.

by **Mike Mizanin** Sun Feb 20, 2011 1:48 am

"Rick! You cannot be strong for him like this! If you wanna be strong, be strong enough to let it go. He is used to being alone so he will be fine, you die and then you will feel better, you will be strong...." Mike rocked his back and forth.

by **Zac McGuire** Sun Feb 20, 2011 1:52 am

"I don't want him to be alone. I don't want to fucking die and leave him. I want this to fucking stop!" He wanted to be strong again.

by **Mike Mizanin** Sun Feb 20, 2011 1:53 am

"Then die, I will be here and he will be fine until you wake up baby, I got him." He nodded.

by **Zac McGuire** Sun Feb 20, 2011 1:55 am

"No. I won't die." He refused. "He NEEDS me..."

by **Mike Mizanin** Sun Feb 20, 2011 1:58 am

"No, he NEEDS you to get better and you will if you die. Rick baby one way or the other your DYING, he knows that, we all do. Imma over dose you to make it quicker, you will be better soon, strong for him."

by **Zac McGuire** Sun Feb 20, 2011 2:02 am

"But... he said he don't wanna watch me die... I gotta keep fighting..."

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