Can't Go On

Zac arrived at the house with Jude. He sat the child down outside.
"Baby, I need you to stay here a minute. You're gonna get to meet your daddy but I need to make sure he's alright first okay?"
"Okay mwomma!" He nodded obediently, excited to finally see his daddy.
Zac stepped inside.
"Quincy? Are you okay...?"

No he was not, he was sitting, head in his hands, body trembling and even Angel was in touching distance to check on him. He wasn't crying, infact his face was blank...

Zac made his way in, frowning at what he saw.
"Oh baby..." He knelt down in front of him.

Quincy shook his head.
"Don't touch me okay? Im fine."
He had to be fine...

"Baby... you want me to take him back home...?" Zac sighed, placing a hand on his knee.

Quincy smacked his hand away. "No I don't. I want you to stop touching me and just give me a second Zac." This was hurting him so much....

Zac sighed and backed away, simply watching him.
But, being only six, Jude had gotten impatient and toddled inside.
"HI!" He waved brightly.
"Jude." Zac snapped lightly. "Back outside." He whispered, crawling over to him and nudging him off.

Quincy stood up and left the room, going to cool down before he tried to meet this kid. It took him thirty minutes before he came back out.

Jude looked frightened. Zac had scolded him for not listening and coming inside... Zac looked up at Quincy, making Jude stand out of sight for a minute.

Quincy sat down next to Zac and pulled him into his lap, kissing him and trying to get his nerve.

Zac smiled at him.
"Hey baby..." He caressed his cheek.

"Hey Precious....Im sorry I just....Needed to get it together. Im okay now."
He still didnt wanna do this...

"I know babe... and I'm still so happy you're doing this for me..." He kissed his cheek as Jude peeked his head around to look at them from behind the couch.

Quincy noticed him and sighed.
"Hello...."
This would not go well for him.

Jude looked at Zac for permission. Zac sighed and nodded encouragingly.
"Hi..." He waved shyly.

Quincy didnt say anything else, just looked at Zac, not knowing what to say.

"Well this is your daddy Jude.. he's... shy." Zac covered. "Real shy and thats why you can't be over here a whole lot okay?"
"Otay mwomma... can I give him a hug?" He asked innocently.

Quincy felt like Quinton. Quinton was the shy one, the one who didn't talk much to new people. And he did NOT want that hug, but for Zac he opened his arms for his lovers child.

Zac lifted Jude up to Quincy's level. The tiny child wrapped his arms around Quincy.

Quincy's eyes were wide and dilated. His skin burned as the small child touched him. He still hugged him as he felt small tears well up in his eyes.

Zac bit his lip as he watched.
"Daddy... I'm sowwy that you dont want me here but... I wuv you anyways." He nodded as he kissed Quincy's cheek and shimmied back down to the floor.

Quincy had little to say to the small child, he was just....
Not even there.

Jude backed away to Zac.
"Mwomma..."
"BAby, like I said he's... shy. He'll get used to you eventually."
"Otay... can I go home?"
"Of course..."

Quincy stood and once again, walked out of the room, but only this time, he had tears brimming in his eyes.

Zac took Jude home and walked back to the house.
"Baby? Where are you?" He called.