Invisible...Am I?

Kevin sighed, looking over at Blake.
Even he was crying....

Mike was so sweet... Blake had barely know him. But the day they met, Mike had called him his baby and Blake called him momma. Everyone just loved Mike... but Lane.

Kevin didn't figure Matt or Chris would care. Or his father really...
Alex was with lane....Still loved him after this.

The news spread around...
Matt did not cry, he barely knew Mike, he certainly wasn't his "baby." But he did mourn the loss... he knew Mike was a good man.
Chris, to everyone's surprise, did cry. He cried more than anyone had thought he would. Even Dustin had been surprised. Especially Rick.

And it confused Dustin. They were planning a funeral soon. He was depressed and hurting but he couldn't show it because it would upset Chris more....

Alex hadn't spoken to Lane since. He stayed at the house with Kevin, Biddy, Rick, Blake, Jr and Austin. It'd taken a bit of persuasion on him and Rick but they'd agreed to leave Kendrick and Lane be until after the funeral.
Chris hadn't been too fond of Mike... but he'd loved him nonetheless... he was crying and he was depressed but deep down in him... there was a teeny tiny part that was.. happy. It made him feel like an awful person.

And if Dustin knew he would think there was something wrong with him. How can someone be happy such a sweet man was now dead and never coming back? Kevin was not the same, he had just shut down, Biddy smiled less....
It was heart breaking.

Rick hadn't spoken since he and Alex had agreed on not mmurdering Lane and Kendrick yet. It was as if he'd just lost his voice... he hadn't said a word...

Kevin sighed, padding down stairs and plopping down in his fathers lap.
"I miss momma...." He nuzzled Alex's neck. He never got any sleep.

"me too baby..." Alex nodded. His eyes were red and puffy, he hadn't eaten or slept since Mike died...

"If you could....Would you do anything different daddy?" Kevin wanted to know..

"I.... I wouldn't have let him love me so much... I would've taught him to be stronger... to defend himself..."

"Daddy.....Him loving you.....that was one thing you could never fix.....With his dying breath he loved you....He always will. And he could be strong, and he tried...he was no match still...." Kevin wondered if he regretted Lane...

"Kevin... I was bad for him... I hurt him... he loved me so much.. he wouldn't move on... he was weak vcause I made him that way.. I wish I would've taught him how to fight better..." Alex sighed. he didn't regret Lane but.. he was so angry with him... not angry, more hurt... he didn't know if he could ever forgive this..

Kevin dropped his head.
"You never loved him like he loved you....You love Lane....." And it hurt him to know....To know his momma knew....and Mike went on loving Alex anyways.

"Kevin... baby don't you ever say I didn't love your momma... if I didn't... I wouldn't care he was dead.."

"You loved him but daddy.....He would never leave you....He would have done anything to keep you safe even if you hated him....You didnt care he was treated so wrong....Well....you didnt so anything and you left him and....Its just....He knew you didnt like him like that and he kept on loving you....." Kevin finally got that song....
Love takes the patience of Job
That's what my Mama always said
Faith is the belief in something more than what you know
That's what the Good Book says
You gotta play the cards you got
Who knows what fate is holding
At times you gotta go without knowing where you're going

That's why I keep on lovin' you
I keep on lovin' you
Through the baby don't leave mes
And never will agains
And I promise tos
I keep on lovin' you

Lord knows we've had our share of fights
Our sleepless nights, our ups and downs
We've had plenty and then some of baby I'm gones and turnarounds
Sometimes I swear it might be easier to throw in the towel
Someday we're gonna look back
Say look at us now

That's why I keep on lovin' you
I keep on lovin' you
Through the baby don't leave mes
And never will agains
And I promise tos
I keep on lovin' you

Keep on lovin' you
Through the I take it backs...I didn't mean it like thats
I'd never hurt yous...Oh, I keep on lovin' you

I keep on lovin' you...I keep on lovin' you
Through the I take it backs...I didn't mean it like that
I'd never hurt yous...Oh, I keep on lovin' you

I keep on lovin' you...I keep on lovin' you

Alex was bawling harder by the time he finished.
"Wh-why did you s-sing that?"

"I understand it.....Momma sung it while he was dying....I didnt get why that song meant so much to him....Until now...."
He choked on a sob, thinking of Mike's sweet, loving face....

Alex was shaking, covering his face as he turned away from Kevin. He couldn't breath....

"Wh-Why was Lane worth so much more than that? What was so bad? Why were you so unhappy..."
That had hurt Mike more than anything, knowing he made Alex unhappy.

"I-It wasn't terrible... j-just... I..." Alex cried harder.

Kevin cried with him. "You know that hurt him worse than anything...k-knowing he made you unhappy...."
It hurt so much to think of how sweet his mother was.

"Y-your momma... he was the b-best and w-worst things to ever h-happen to m-me..."

Kevin wailed, covering his face.
"Wh-What has he done wrong now?! He is gone!!! He wont fuck up whatever you got with that mother fucker anymore!! He was the worst thing? That man was nothing but good to you!! Im so sorry he didnt make you happy!!! Well its all fine now because he is gone!!" Kevin cried out, the whole house heard him.