I Dream Of Death

"You are not leaving my side until I get rid of Daffy one way or another. And baby I only said Daffy was stronger than you. Cause he is darlin."

Mike sighed. "That's wonderful.....what if you and Lane want alone time?"

"We just won't have any." Alex said simply.

"Your going to want some at some point. Might as well leave me be and let Daffy do as he wants."

"No." Alex said firmly. "He will not have you." Alex shook his head. "I won't let him hurt you."

"He already has." Mike pointed out.
"And why not? He wants me more than anything, and without me you'll have Lane all to yourself."

"Because I love you Mike. And I will NOT let him hurt you."

"Correction, you love Lane and I am I side show." Mike turned to glare. "Atleast im all Daffy want. Not like I love him or some shit like that but damn at least im wanted."

"Mike... baby I do want you. I love you." Alex sighed. He really did.

"You love him more and you dont have a reason. Im just not....Im not who you want or who you need. Im just a nice fuck on the side." Mike state dully.

"Mike I loved you for over twenty five years. You're telling me all that time you were just a nice fuck?"

"Sure, why not."
If he loved him so much then why couldn't he love him now.

"Mike... how... how can you think I never loved you?" Alex asked this truly hurt him.

"Well, maybe you did, but never as much as you love Lane. Lane wasn't the one who raise Alex Jr and Sydney with you. Lane was not there to love you when you were in war. Lane didn't fucking love you his whole life only for you to drop that and love someone else more. I wanted you to be happy, I still do but you got be to believe you wouldn't ever love anyone more than me. What a joke."

"Baby.. I.... Mikey please." Alex sighed, he didn't know how to respond to this.

"Please what? Not give a fuck that Im second best? How do I do that?"

"M-mikey... you're not second best." Alex sighed.

"Then what do you call it? A close first? I'm not even close. You can't run from this and neither can I."

"You are close baby." Alex sighed he hated this subject.

"Close doesn't cut it. I cant even be equal. Whats wrong with me? Why can't you love me that much?"

"There's nothing wrong with you darling..." Alex shook his head.

"Okay then what does he have that I dont that makes you love him so fucking much."

"I..." Alex had been thinking of this. He had concluded that it had something to do with Lane's ability to stay strong no matter what. With Mike, Alex had to be the strong one. Mike refused to top him. Lane and his relationship was equal. They took turns being strong. He sighed.

"Is it because I wouldn't top you? Is it because Im weak? Is that why you find me unlovable? Fine....Im done. Im wont be sensitive anymore and I wont cry, fuck that im done."

"Mike do you want an honest answer or are you going to keep yelling at me?" Alex said softly.