I Dream Of Death

Alex stepped back.
"What the fuck ever." He laughed bitterly and walked away. He was done.

Sarah caught up with him and hugged him.
"Th-Thank you! I know you hate me but there was nothing else I could do...I couldn't stop him and you didn't but for the moment you d-did." She sniffled, she understood Mike though, he had no one else to turn to.

He hugged her back.
"Didn't think I'd ever say this but thank you for taking me here Sarah. I needed to do that." He kissed the top of her head.
"Thank you."

She nodded.
"I-Im scared...I-I dont wanna leave him here b-but he has n-nowhere else to g-go." She sobbed into his chest.

"Hey, it's his choice." Alex sighed. "If he wants to stay here and be abused.. well there's nothing we can do. We tried Sarah." He patted her back.

"A-Alex, d-do you think he likes i-it? H-He had n-no where else to g-go. He was with me a-and then you and L-Lane came and h-he cant be there anymore." She sobbed. "I-I love him, H-He is my B-Baby brother."

"He has the choice of finding someone else out here. There are plenty of people. I could have taken Daffy off of his hands but he obviously likes being treated like this."

"I-I....I thought you love him Alex. I counted on it... I-If I couldn't take c-care of him you would." She wiped her eyes. She would find another way..

"I do love him. I always will Sarah. But I can't protect or help him unless he wants protected." Alex shrugged.

She sniffled and stepped back before kissing his cheek.
"Thank y-you, for loving him while you d-did. Thank y-you for being with him a-and not letting him die alone a-and talking care of him for almost thirty years th-thank you...."

"You're welcome Sarah. But I really don't deserve a thank you." He sighed.

"No, you do....You made him so happy for so long." She wiped her eyes. "I understand you love Lane now but thank you so much...."

"You're welcome." Alex said again. "Thank you for being accepting of this..."

"You make Lane happy, I was fine with that...I just knew that it would hurt Mike....That was my only problem. I was trying to get him over it but now I see he will never move on.

"I should have let you help him... I'm sorry." Alex sighed. "I just love him so much... I don't want to let him go. I know that's not fair."

"Alex...I was trying to help him, he is like my baby brother. Im always TRYING to help but I can't...only you could." She swallowed. "But dont worry about it....I-I'll try to do something...."

Alex put his face in his hands.
"I keep wondering, what if? What if I didn't accept Lane's offer that night? Would I have just kept living alone until I died? Or would Lane and I get together eventually anyway? It's just driving me crazy... I keep wondering, what if I made a mistake that night?"

"Lane loves you....And you love him even more than you did Mike....I watched Mike some times when he was troubled and I never thought you would love anyone more....Then I watched you and Lane and you love him just as much....But its different. Mike is so sweet and sensitive, Lane is strong and quick to shrug you off....You picked Lane and its okay, I just... My Mikey means so much to me and I hate that he is so broken....He could deal with Daffy until you got here but then you were with Lane, you picked Lane and he has n hope left." She sighed.

"I'm so sorry. I.. wish I could love him more. YOu gotta believe me, I've tried. So hard..."

"I know...I just hate it because i have never seen anyone love so completely like Mike. He can't love any one else, his heart belongs to you so he no longer has a heart to give....And he, I just know that if he could go back, knowing what he did now, knowing you would leave him and love Lane....He wouldn't change it, as long as he could still have those thirty years of joy you brought him...."
Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks.

Alex began crying again. He'd just managed to stop.
"I'm trying Sarah. I really am."

She hugged him.
"Its okay Alex....You don't have to worry anymore...I guess like Lane said when we were talking, Mike is gone...He is not yours anymore so you don't have to worry...I will.

"I'll always worry about him... I'll always love him. Even if I want to stop, I won't be able to." Alex sighed.

"But you e Lane more so just.....Take care of Lane."
She hugged Alex tightly, she didnt want Mike to be alone.

"Okay." Alex sighed. "Do whatever you can to take care of him. Please."