I Dream Of Death

"It's alright... and I want to come. I'm just... nervous... and scared." Alex admitted.

"What are you scared of?" She raised a brow.
"You chose, you want Lane.....And Mike is not very scary."

"I'm afraid of hurting him... again." Alex frowned.

"How? Alex sweetheart, you have his heart, You might hurt him but he will always love you and he is probably used to it."

"I don't want to hurt him though. It might hurt me but I want him to move on..." Alex sighed

"He wont." She replied simply.
"I know he wont so you can just push that thought aside."

Alex sighed.
"I wish he could... it'd be so much easier..."

"He is not simple....Im sorry but he loves you, he gave his heart away and he cant ever give it back...he doesn't even want it back, he wants you to have it."

Alex frowned.
"I don't know why they love me so much... i really don't get it."

"Alex, your special. Not that I love you like they do but your growing on me. But they have been your faithful lovers...Your everything to them and second to you is Mike when it come to Lane, im third." She giggled. "He is in there holding Mike, he is afraid to let him go."

"I don't like when Lane's upset." He sighed.

"Me either, im used to him being so string but Mike had always been able to make him be sweet or harsh or scared. He loves Mike, he really does." She hummed. "But your his number one."

Those words sounded so sweet.
"Sarah... why didn't you take it as bad as Mike did? You were with Lane."

"Well....Mike didn't really take it bad, because normally I would have hated you. But you make Lane so happy and we were kids, I died giving birth. I didn't raise a child with him or anything. I loved him and he loved me but you and Mike...That was thirty years, two kids and a million fights, I love you's and just a wonderful life together. He gave everything to you in hopes you would cherish it and always love him because you finally had him believing you would, more than anything....."

Alex's heart ached at those words and he suddenly felt nauseous.

"Alex....You don't have to come see him. Im just wanting to make sure that if you did you went now because he wont be here for long...."
She sighed.

"I'll come say hi..." Alex nodded, convincing himself.

She laughed.
"Don't force yourself, and don't go because of pity."

"I want to. Just,like I said, I'm nervous." Alex frowned, but stood up. "C'mon."

She smiled and took his hand, leaving him into the kitchen where Lane was crying. Yeah big, strong, Lean was holding Mike and crying into his lithe chest.

"Hi Mike..." Alex murmured softly, staring at the scene sadly.

Mike dull blue eyes met Alex's.
"Hi Alex."
Lane held him tighter.

Alex couldn't look away when those blue eyes locked with his.
Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it...
"I miss you."
Oh, you said it.

Mike looked away, down at the crying man that was holding onto him.
"I miss you too....."

"I'm sorry..." Alex frowned when Mike looked away.