I Dream Of Death

"Mike, the door's locked. Please just go to bed. I'm begging you."

"No....I don't want you to be alone Alex, and I dont want to leave Lane alone. Please come to bed."

"Mike, please I'll sleep with you tomorrow. I just... can't be in there right now."

"Then let me in there. You wouldnt leave me if I was upset like this."

"Mike please. I... can't look at you or Lane right now..." Alex sighed. "Please..."

"Fine, im going to go talk to Quinton, he always knows what to do."
Mike took his coat and went to talk to his friend.

"Thank god." Alex whispered to himself. He sighed heavily.

Lane woke up and over heard the conversation. He put his hand on the door and with his shoulder he forced it open. He looked at Alex with red rimmed hurt eyes. He then simply went back to bed. He broke it so Alex could no longer lock it, if Mike needed him he could open the door.

Alex still didn't know he'd hurt Lane.
"Why the fuck was he crying?" He thought.

Lane lay in his bed, his arms providing a pillow as he stared at the ceiling. It seemed that it was over for him and Alex. Lane could have taken Alex hitting but they had been making love, and Alex had...He couldnt think of a word for what Alex had done.

Alex buried his head in the towel he'd been using as a pillow. Why the fuck was Lane crying? He'd just fucked Mike.

Lane cursed aloud as his eyes stung with tears. He hated crying, it didnt happen often.

"Ugh!" Alex screamed. Had he missed something? What right did Lane have to cry?

"Alex shut up! You'll wake Sarah." Lane's voice shook and wobbled with tears as they made there way down his cheeks.

"Whatever." Alex grumbled, shutting up. He eyed the razorblade on the sink. If only he could kill himself...
But at least he could cause himself pain. Maybe that'd help get his mind off of the pain he felt emotionally.
He picked up the razor and ran the edge across his finger tips, toying with it in between his fingers.

Lane had gotten up to go out side and get some fresh air, he watched his husband with narrowed eyes.
"Alex, that's one of the stupidest things you could do and I suggest you put the razor down now, or I can make you."

"Lane you have no idea what is going through my mind right now. Please, leave me alone." Alex sighed. "I'm thinking of doing much worse than this."

Lane growled and took the razor away from Alex, he scolded him like a child before carrying him to the bed.
"You ever, hurt yourself like that and you will see just how pissed off I can get. You'll be lucky if I ever let out out of my site again."
Lane spooned Alex from behind, Alex's shoulder tucked under Lane's chin.

"Lane," Alex whined. "I can't be in this bed." He scrambled out of it. "I'll sleep on the floor."

Lane sighed and got up, making a make shift pallet on the floor.
He was mad.
He was hurt.
He was heartbroken.
He was helplessly in love with this man.

"Lane... what are you doing?" Alex sighed. He couldn't be upset with Lane. He could be heartbroken but not mad.

He finished his pallet.
"Lay down Alex,"
Lane put Alex on the pallet and laid beside him.
He was always comforting someone, even when he was the one who needed it too.

Alex sighed, carding his fingers through Lane's hair.
"Yeah.. the three way is NOT going to work..."

"Okay, so you want me to leave?"
Lane knew Alex was not letting Mike go. And it showed, Alex had hurt him tonight, they were making love and Alex had just..." Lane sighed.

"I didn't say that..." Alex sighed. "I..I think it would work if I was in the middle but... I know that's not fair to you two..."