I Dream Of Death

Daffy sighed and twitched.
"I know where hes at, I promised I wouldnt say. And I wont because you will changed your mind again and you'll leave Mike. Your so complicated Alex."
Daffy rubbed his back.

"I know I am. I don't want you to tell me. It'll just make it harder on everyone if I go find him again."

"I know but Gosh, its hard be without him. But then again since you left him it was not the same. He used to smile so fucking much and it was so precious. Now he never smiles and those eyes, baby blue and so bright, they were dull and dead. The voice that bounced with excitment and happiness was heartbroken and always wavered. I haven't seen my Mike is so long."

Alex whimpered.
"I know what you mean..." He missed Mike. Not this Mike. HIS Mike.

"I don't think we will ever get our Mike back."
He was gone the moment Alex said he loved Lane more.

"I don't think so either." Alex buried his head in the crook of Daffy's neck.

Daffy held Alex tightly.
"Im not in your head and I dont wanna hurt you Alex, but you know me and Lane had been friends for so long. I love Lane but Mike, I would do anything to have that Mike back. The one I knew, he wasnt so sensitive, he was kind and caring, he was strong but small, he was feisty but he surrendered."

"I want my Mike back too..." Alex thought of one thing that would make Mike feel at least semi better.

"Well I don't think there is any way to get him back. Our Mike was gone the moment you loved Lane more. Im not being mean I just know."

Alex sighed and nodded.
"But I have a small idea. It's not much but I want to see how he'd react. Can you try and get him to come down to the cemetary tomorrow at noon? Like he used to when he'd come visit?"

"If you think it will help I will drag him kicking and screaming to that cemetery." Daffy wondered what he was going to do.

Alex would have chuckled but he was too sad.
"Well I can't be sure it would help. It might make him worse for all I know but anything is worth a shot right?"

"What are you going to do Alex?"
Daffy didnt want to make it worse.

"Just... ugh maybe this is stupid. I wasn't thinking. I know it'll make me feel better but it will most likely make Mike feel worse. Just forget it."

"Alex, as your therapist you should tell me." Daffy smirked but he really did want to know.

Alex actually chuckled. "I was just gonna get Alex and Syd together to talk to him." He explained.
"Y'know I'm actually starting to like you..." He paused and quickly added, "As strictly a friend only! I do not need a third man in my life and erm, no offense the thought of you and I makes me want to barf a little." Alex laughed, smiling to show he was only joking... well half joking.

"Yeah no offense but same here."
He acted like he was going to throw up before laughing and patting Alex's shoulder.
"But, are you just going to leave him with them or you going to stay?"

"It depends on what he wants.." Alex said, already missing the joking tone.

"You think he will feel better meeting with the kids you two made TOGETHER and knowing that you wont even kiss him, make love to him again. Get the family together but your with Lane and he is so far gone its scary?"

"That's why I said forget it. It'd make it worse Dustin I know. I wasn't thinking."

"Its okay Alex. Now the question is can you go home and stay with Lane Sarah and....Aaron?"

"I..." Alex didn't think he could.
"I don'r know..."

"If I come with you will you at least look at it or hold it once?" Daffy would do it if It would make Alex except the child.

"I'll look..." Alex sighed. He just knew he wouldn't be able to take it.

Daffy smiled and lead Alex out of the house and back to Sarah's where she was cooking and Lane was holding the little bundle of blue.