Can't Go On

Keviun turned over, watching his baby. He finally got up and headed Zac off, hugging his son.
"You cant leave mad at me b aby..."

"I'm not really mad just..." Zac sighed. "I just come over to you when I want comfort and someone to back me up. And all I heard was again how wrong I am... I just want my momma to atleast pretend to agree with me..." He sighed and hugged him.

"Pretending is no going to help you though baby." Kevin pecked his cheek. "Wait, and he willl come around and talk to you like an adult."

"I know it wont but it makes me feel better." He smiled halfheartedly. "I hope so. He's so fucking stubborn. Worse than memaw... almost."

Kevin nodded.
"Okay baby, whatever makes you feel better."

"Oh, by the way, Jr has a crush on his nephew." He chuckled, trying to get his mind off of Quincy.

"I saw that, He was so cute with him today." Kevin chuckled lightly.

"They're related and all, normally I'd be uncomfortable with that but they're adorable." Zac smiled.

"Well i normally would shun it but they...something about them being togather like that." He shrugged.

Zac nodded.
"I really don't mind. it. We only let them around family, so they're gonna end up having a crush on a family member. Its our own fault." He chuckled.

"Well I dont trust alot of people anymore....I dont see myself being protected."
In his mind though, his father would always be here to protect him..."

"Momma... daddy will risk his life... well death, whatever, to protect you. So will I. I'll do what I can, which isn't much but still."

"Your sweet baby and the way me and your father have been fighting, im thinking he would rather eat dirt then help me."

"Momma I dont care if youd just punched him, he'd protect you."

"Sure he would. I'm not counting on it." Kevin never felt that loves by anyone.

"Momma tell him that and all hell will break loose. Are you forgetting who was there for you during all the pain when you were pregnant with Jr? I wasn't there but I know what happened momma? How can you not feel protected with him?"

"Because...I hope that deep down....He wants to leave me...I want whats best for him....Im always so sick....I want your father to have so much more than some sickly husband.....I cant give more babies....I cant do anything without him being scared imma get hurt....'

"Momma he doesn't. And he never will. You want our family to fall apart? Think of what it'd do to your babies? Me. Especially Jr, he's so little..."

Kevin sighed, hugging Zac.
"I just.....He means everything to me and I dont feel like I make him....Happy....."

"Hey momma, wanna know a secret?" Zac whispered. He paused for aminute. "Daddy talks to me. You made him so happy... but now the reason you keep fighting is because you keep saying you're wrong for each other. Momma, by trying to push him out and make him happy, youre making him UNhappy... you're capable of making your lover happy... do it. i wish I could."

Kevin nodded, chewing his lip.
"Baby....Quincy is happy with you. I can see it....Me and grandma can see it."

"Sometimes he is... then other times... most of the time.." Zac sighed as he trailed off and shook his head. But no matter how hard he tried, one thing Quincy had said would not get out of his mind... how he'd built that house with his own two hands for him and Aaron... not Zac and his BASTARD child...

Kevin sighed, hugging his son.
And Quincy had, he built that house with his own two hands, out in the woods away from other kids that harassed Aaron. He built it two bedrooms and just for them. Once he and Zac moved in with their babies he made the home bigger, built onto it. The house had his sweat and blood in the wood and all of his lover surrounding it.
For the man he loved more than anything,
For their nine babies.
Not for a tenth child of rape.

"Momma... I'm going to stay the night if I can..." Zac sighed and nodded. He wanted to talk to memaw. Jude was five, almost six.. Aaron was six when Alex made Mike give him away... he needed to talk to him... how he got through it...

"Coarse you can baby." Kevin tugged him back upstairs into their room and laid down with him. He pecked Rick's lips softly, muttering a sweet "I love you," before pressing his back to Rick's chest and hugging Zac close.